Tag Archives: equality

Writespiration #81 When Something's Not What It Seems #1000speak

Not What It SeemsI’m a bitch. I know. You’re not supposed to admit things like that. But I just did.
Let me elaborate. I’m not the: ‘I’ll stab you in the back and claw your your eyes out in order to dry hump your boyfriend’ kind of bitch. Partly because I don’t do sloppy seconds, but also because I’d be stealing your wife not your husband!
I’m more of your silent bitch. The one everyone comes to with: “you’re not going to believe what such and such said. She was all like…. And he was like…. and then I’m all like, he never?!”
No. I’m a bitch cause I sit there nice and quiet. Taking it all in, and then I smile inwardly as I pick a story this latest drama is getting inserted into!
But there’s more to this story…

Continue reading

F*** Balls, Grow A Vagina #1000speak #writespiration 76

A struggleThere’s this phrase, ‘grow some balls’ I hate it. Mostly because I say it all the time! I’ve seen a photo banded round the internet that slates that phrase, suggesting instead, that one actually needs to grow a vagina. Why? Because vaginas are hardcore – baby pushing out – machines. While balls…Balls are… soft, squishy, breakable sperm bags.

Why am I talking about balls and vaginas on my writing blog?! Well, this weeks writespiration happens to fall on a 1000speak day, so you’re going to have to bear with me whilst I waffle on in order to explain the challenge! Every month there is a group of people that come together to write on a theme, the campaign is called #1000speak. This months theme is forgiveness. If you haven’t ever joined in, you should. It’s awesome to take some time out to ponder different things, and to join in a movement based on compassion. Continue reading

Accepting The Weird In You – A Writers Must #1000speak

Accepting the weird in you - a writers must

Weird, weirdo, strange, unusual, abnormal, not normal, odd, freaky, eccentric, all words I’ve been called over the years. But why? Why have we (society) corrupted the words weird and inserted negative meanings into them? I don’t know about anyone else but I wasn’t party to the memo telling me the ‘Normal Police’ had been legislated and were arresting anyone who showed even a hint of stepping over the accepted line. I know humans are conformists, but really? Continue reading

The Abomination That is Disney!

disney-princess-kida-disney-princess-30168400-2560-1117

The wife has always had a penchant for Disney. I on the other hand barely watched them as a child, preferring to have my head stuck firmly in the pages of dusty old books. Disney came up in conversation again recently – having pushed a small human out – and the fact she wanted to have a large collection of disney films ready for the boy to watch. Sky had a few on demand over Christmas, so we sat down and stuck The Little Mermaid (TLM) on.

I sat, aghast for the entire film. How has disney been able to produce films that are quite simply an abomination. People – and by people I refer to the murky world of ‘parents’ – seem to rave about disney and how good their films are…. Good?

Good – sure, if you count a hideously antifeminist, despicably amoral story that has nothing even remotely like the ethics or values I want my son to grow up with.

I hate to be a mermaid basher so I will start with a positive. Race equality – TLM is a great story about how love is equal across any race, Mermaid loves a human, different races, love conquers all blah, blah, blah, Great – this is a moral I can not only live with, but as a lesbian, actively promote and encourage. I want my child to know they can love whoever they want, no matter their race, creed, gender or otherwise.

The Film:

Issue 1: Ariel falls in love with the prince. – So wrong. She spontaneously falls in love with someone she has never spoken to and mostly just perved on, in a fairly stalkerish way from afar.

Would you encourage your kid to do this? I doubt it. I can already see the injunctions and restraining orders being slapped all over him, because a stupid film told him real love happens by stalking someone for two days. Ok, I am being facetious but you see my point. I would also like to point out I am not suggesting that I don’t believe in love at first sight. More that you need to have a reality check in real life, even if you do fall for someone instantly.
Issue 2: Ariel wants to change herself to be with him.

I hate to go all feminist ranty on you. Actually, I don’t hate it, I love a good feminist rant. In fact, any sort of rant. I digress – BUT don’t we have enough antifeminist-bullshit pressure to conform to the ultra skinny, rib protruding, size of a seven year old, bulimic-anorexic, vomit inducing ‘celebrity look’ society the media loves, without having it force-fed subconsciously to our infants. UGH. No woman…. Actually no man either, should ever have to change themselves to be with someone. Is it just me? Or do we spend hours of our lives giving advice to our perpetually confused friends on their relationships, and why it’s not ok for them to allow their partner to nag them into suppression?

Issue 3: The prince starts to fall for Ariel but then deserts her instantly for a disguised Ursula over something so shallow as her voice! He decides to marry Ursula immediately having spent all of no time getting to know her…

Where do I even start with this. It is not ok to teach my child that they can desert a woman (or man) based solely on a characteristic. Thats akin to suggesting it’s ok to leave their partner if they get fat, or a scar, or a disability. I mean SERIOUSLY. And then to marry the other woman because of that same characteristic, after what 2.5 milliseconds of time spent with said woman… sure thats an outstanding idea. I am positive all parents would approve of their kids doing this.

Issue 4: Instead of Ariel taking her pride and moving on she pandas to the prince and chases after him. 

This makes me want to claw my face off in frustration and resort to excessive amounts of alcohol. How low must her self confidence be to chase after a guy who only likes her because of her voice and will desert her as quickly as he met her for another woman simply because she lost that characteristic.

Issue 5: After all that the prince goes back to Ariel dumping Ursula and THEN kills Ursula just for good measure.

Now I just feel awkward. No one wants to date a psychopath, and lets be honest, the prince is looking more and more like a psychopath; with emotions unnecessarily fickle, and an assumption that it’s ok to off your ex…

Despite the fact I am resolute in knowing TLM is morally wrong, it’s not like theres anything better on the market. I think I may have to go investigate the other films!

Pregnancy is a pain in the solar plexus

chakra-SOLARPLEXUS

For someone who rarely gets ill, and soldiers through when she does, I am having a spectacularly bad year. It has been ailment after ailment, and today I have had enough.

I don’t want anyone to think I am ungrateful for this pregnancy, I most certainly am not. However, I have been in pain of one variety or another for the best part of this year.

I ended last year and started this year with tooth ache from hell. I had an abscess on my tooth so big it touched my sinus causing  odema on my face and making me look hideous.

Then we had the issues with my ovaries and all the tests and depression that came with that.

When I finally fell pregnant, I had 3 weeks of sheer exhaustion so extreme I didn’t think I would ever wake up.

My breast so sore I thought they would fall off.

Then the morning sickness started

Followed by the most excruciating headaches I ever experienced.

Then a severe chest infection

More tooth ache followed by tooth removal.

indigestion from hell

and now my solar plexus…. I think the cartilage between my rib cage – primarily under my right breast, is inflamed.

I am in agonizing pain. I can’t sit, lie or walk without it hurting, take a few steps and I am out of breath.

I am exhausted, so worn out from being in constant pain, that today I broke down. Ive cried about 5 times, which is very very unlike me. But it hurts a lot. and everything I’ve read indicates that the pain wont go away until I give birth. I don’t know how I am going to get through it, I really don’t. Being in pain makes you so tired, I just want to sleep to stop feeling the pains.

But I am such a light sleeper, and it its so unbearably hot – and we Brits don’t have air con, so I am struggling to sleep too. 🙁

Sacha is sad today.

An Historic Day for British LGBT People

Today was an historic day for British LGBT people.

Any piece of legislation in the UK must jump through several hoops before it gets passed into law. Including, several ‘readings’ in the house of commons, debating, reports and committee stages. It then has to go through the same process in the house of lords. Then back to the house of commons for a final run through any amendments, before getting passed up to our dear old queeny for signing into law.

I am over the moon to announce that the same sex marriage bill has successfully gone through the house of lords today. Which means – thats it…. it WILL be law. In a blink of an eye, Queeny will be passing it into law, and by 2014 I will be able to marry my wife!

We had a civil partnership last year and will be one of the hundreds of thousands of LGBT partnerships converting as soon as possible.

I have noticed that France and New York have been celebrating their same sex marriage passings in a very public way….

 

945614_10151741708633112_1902902684_n imjhgages

Personally I am hoping that they either light up ‘Big Ben‘ the houses of parliament, or even better, ‘Buckingham Palace‘ !! but something tells me were still a tad conservative for that!!

Yet another uneducated homophobe

If you have ever needed motivation to become an LGBT activist, this video right here is it…

I have posted this on QueerLandia, and I try to post different things on the two blogs, BUT I am so enraged by this total fucking idiot that I had to post it on my blog as well… besides I can swear on here!

Should same sex marriage be taught in schools? Was a question asked on one of the biggest day time TV shows a few days ago.

I have to say it has been a while since I witnessed such atrocious, narrow minded, uneducated drivel on my TV. There are no words strong enough to describe how abhorrent I find this video, I am beyond disgusted and it makes my inside boil.

He freely states that being homosexual is unnatural, and that you ‘shouldn’t be proud’ to be gay.

Not only that, but that parents should ‘correct’ their children when they come to them and tell them that they think they are gay. In so many words states that parents should suppress their children’s gay tendencies. Not only that but apparently being gay occurs because of a mistake or problem in our childhood development.

I hurled some expletives at youtube at this point. Feel free to join me…

Furthermore, he refers to ‘gay lifestyle and practices’ although, he never actually clarifies what these so called ‘practices’ are.

He so much as says that children are unsafe in homosexual families, and that statistics prove it…

I would love to know what statistics he is referring to because I have read studies that say precisely the opposite…

Such as this study, or this study… If he wants to go ten rounds on ‘statistics’ and the evidence, how about show me some hardline positivist research packed full of statistics. I bet he has none, IN FACT I bet he doesn’t even know what positivist means.

These fucking uneducated narrow minded bigots preaching about made up statistics. SHOW ME THE EVIDENCE, because I have read studies like the ones I just posted above that say the total opposite. I hate that we even need scientific studies ‘proving’ that gay and lesbian families produce well rounded kids. In fact I find it positively insulting that we need studies.

Please tell me I am not the only one furious over this…???

Anger

Today I am just fucking angry. I can’t help it.

I am angry with everything, at everything, about everything and with everyone.

I don’t want to be consoled I feel like enough of a leper as it is without everyone trying to tread on eggs shells around me and tell me how well I’m doing. Fuck off.

I’m not in control, I am not ok, and I don’t wana hear that I’m “doing so well- your coping brilliantly”

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

The only reason everyone else thinks I’m coping is because I don’t do emotion in front of people. I only discuss fact and the action plan we are taking. What else is there? (Don’t answer that)

And then when I am on my own, I let silent tears fall down my cheeks.

All day everyday I am thinking about my eggs and IVF. I am losing the plot on the inside and a stone cold monster on the outside.

Whatever you think. I am not coping. Not one bit. Nothing about this is fucking ok.

This isn’t fair. And it’s taking too long.

I am angry at the world today.

:*(

Some People are Gay, Get OVER It.

A friend was telling me about their theory, there wont be equality for everyone fitting into a protected characteristic (like LGBT, mental health etc etc) until there is equality for women. Interesting. I have to say I kind of agree.

I mean the Church of England won’t even allowed women bishops for goodness sake, why are LGBT people expecting gay marriage to be allowed in churches? Of course I think they should be allowed, but I am just saying we don’t stand a hope in hell, when the CofE can’t even sort out a simple vote to have women bishops.

 

The UK government recently held a consultation on whether or not they should allowed gay marriages, and with a staggering 228,000 responses, it seems likely that the government is going to legalise gay marriage, at least civil marriage anyway.

The BBC’s report is here. I blogged a few times about the CofE’s ridiculous response to the consultation too: here, here, here and here.

What gets me now, and I am going to try HARD not to rant about this:

1. Apparently I can’t divorce my wife for cheating on me unless she cheats with a man. The rage I feel brewing about this, is ridiculous, I am once again turning green with a Hulk like rage. It annoys me that I even have to justify this. OF COURSE it’s cheating if she slept with another women. HOW DARE the government try and tell me it isn’t cheating. I tell you what cameron, how about I give ol’ Sammy Cameron a good poking, and then you see how you feel about it, and when she’s had the best night of her life, then come and tell me you don’t feel cheated on. Prick.

2. They are going to make it opt in for churches? I mean reaaally? This is not going to help religious LGBT people get the weddings they want. Personally I couldn’t give two shits if the churches don’t want us marrying in their ‘sacred’ grounds, I am not religious in the slightest. But I am not naive enough to think that there are no religious LGBT people. Therefore, being the egalitarian that I am I think that churches should be made (eventually) to conduct religious same-sex marriages.

Churches spout the reason that same sex marriages should not be allowed is because marriage is to enable children. WELL I got news for you god botherers, science has enabled something called sperm donation,  IVF, and surrogacy, so single women, gay and lesbian couples, and even single men can still have children. You might wana read the news sometimes. Oh and if you try and tell me that lesbians can’t parent or whatever, then how about bring some hard facts to back up your argument, otherwise, keep your bigoted opinions to yourself. I got more news for you, studies such as this one (and there are several others saying the same thing) state that not only do lesbian families rock, they smash straight families… BOOM. How do you like them apples ‘father.’

Also, whilst I am ranting, what REALLY pisses me off, is when Christians, pick and choose what aspects of the bible they want to follow:

your not supposed to wear mixed clothes

or eat shellfish

If your husband dies you marry his brother

If your wife isn’t a virgin when you marry her she gets killed.

 

Or do you not fancy following those rules? Just the ones that make you homophobic bigots?

 

3. THE EQUALITIES minister, has made 4 loop holes to prevent people going to the court of human rights, the worst of which is that they will make it legally binding that:

It is NOT discrimination to refuse to marry a same sex couple.

Words fail me at this point. I have nothing polite or clean to say about this. Seriously Maria Miller have you been puffing on the crack pipe again?

#idiot.

Three parent families… Genetically

I wrote this post on QueerLandia yesterday hoping that it would generate some discussion, but it hasn’t so I thought I would blog it here, and add some more too it as well, in the hope it generates more discussion.

I saw this in the news a couple of weeks ago, and have been meaning to blog about it for a little while. I am hoping it generates a discussion….

The news reported that some scientific trials to make three parent embryos have taken place, and the UK has now launched a consultation on the matter.

The trials have been coined ‘three-parent in vitro fertilisation’ (IVF) because the offspring would have genes from a mother, a father and from a female donor, who donates some of her DNA.

The original purpose is to prevent some genetic diseases from being passed on. In particular mitochondrial diseases that are passed on genetically through the maternal line and are incurable. So they take out the culprit DNA and replace it with the female donors DNA.

One reporter poses the following questions about this:

how is a child born from this sort of technique might feel?; whether the child should be told?; whether their sense of identity might be affected?; what the rights of the female donor might be?; whether the donation of mitochondrial DNA should be viewed as similar to egg or sperm donation, or more like blood or tissue donation?; and who should decide who can access the treatments?

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health-and-fitness/three-parent-embryos-unnerve-ethicists/article4553114/ 

They claim it raises ethical issues because it is the first step to creating designer babies. I am not sure how I feel about that.

Having recently got married, babies are  definitely on my radar, I have been to a fertility show recently and the options are vast.  We both went in thinking we wanted to do it a certain way, and came out totally confused and completely unsure of how we wanted to conceive. Like did you know that a heterosexual couple only has a 10-14% of getting pregnant at any one time. Therefore the same chances can be applied to IUI (intrauterine insemination) if you do it without drugs that is. With the aid of drugs some clinics claim their chances of getting you pregnant are as high as 40%. I have to say I left feeling pretty pessimistic and naive about the whole affair. I had gone thinking it wouldn’t be a walk in the park, and would cost a lot but I certainly didn’t have any concept of how slim the chances are in relation to how much it would cost. Because its either low chances of fertility or you need to remortgage your house in order to afford it.

ANYWAY

I will be the carrier, my wife has no interest in carrying, BUT, I am desperate to have a child that is genetically both of ours. At the moment that cannot happen, or so I thought. This is why when I saw this article and heard it on the news, my ears immediately pricked up. For me the question isn’t so much about designer babies, but about the opportunities this brings to homosexual people. Does this mean that my wife and I could both parent a child??

Could two men both genetically parent a child??

Is that right? Is it ethical? Is it moral?

I want the answer to be yes, but maybe I am being selfish and only thinking about how desperate I am to carry both mine and my wifes genetic child. Is that right, should I be thinking that way? To me, it doesn’t seem like an ethical problem but a gift, and a miracle.

I would be very interested in what everyone else thought……???????