Tag Archives: families

Antenatal reasons why I love my wife!

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We went to our first of two antenatal classes the other night, and boy did it start awkwardly!

We rocked up fashionably late – by total accident – we both despise being late, and the wife had been sent home from work as she was in excruciating pain from her bad back still from the car accident – Anyway – she slept most of the day away after swallowing a load of painkillers the doc had given her. After an epic three hour snooze and with barely 30 minutes to get to class I finally plucked up enough courage to wake her from what can only be described as some kind of zombie death sleep! I really didn’t think I would be able to wake her!

We rocked up – slightly late – with EVERYONE gawping at us, as we were CLEARLY the only gays in the village! and we awkwardly sat in the last two remaining seats, right in front of the strangest tutor I have ever witnessed.

This tutor – paler than a vampire, with an accent that was so confused she must have lived in every country in the world.

During the course she brandished an alarming wooden plank that depicted the dilation of the cervix which she then proceeded to push a babies head through the 10cm circle… to which all the women began to cringe slightly and I tried not to whimper and sob in utter despair!

I was a bit disappointed in the class to be honest – I only found out one new piece of information about some vitamin K that the doctors give babies straight after birth. The wife was like… “what do you expect your a geek….” she has a point!

Anyway – What this class taught me, is that I absolutely, love my wife, and wouldn’t be without her.

The tutor split the class into ‘girls’ and ‘boys’ – so my poor wife made the awkward journey over to sit in the ‘boys’ circle to discuss how they were going to support their wives.

WELL….. having been surrounded by women for so long – I had completely forgotten how utterly useless men can be.

Suggestions they came up with included – making sure you had the take out number because they deliver to the maternity unit – clearly thinking about their stomachs.

When I suggested that they should pack the hospital bag because they would be rooting around it as we were going to be in no state to look for shit one of the men turned round and said

“thats the womens job” – DICK HEAD.

This made me cross so I verbally dropped him on his arse and everyone giggled.

Anyway – this continued, and all the good suggestions that they had come up with I would look over to my wife and mouth “did you say that?” and she would give me that cute little smirk she does and nod….

Sigh, swoon, so proud. bloody love my wife!! <3

 

All Things Pregnancy

5 weeks 6 days

So I seem to have acquired a pretty hefty backlog of blogs I owe myself and other fellow bloggers, so I will sit here tonight and write them and set them to upload over the next few days…

So pregnancy…

Anyone else ever experience denial? I think its the shock, I just cant seem to accept the fact I am pregnant. I just cant believe it, I mean part of me does obviously. I duno it is just so surreal…

I mean I have now done 18…. 18 pregnancy tests… a little psycho I know…

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That was this mornings… the test line is now darker than the control line…. mental, I look at these tests every morning and just think, how am I creating positive pregnanct tests!!

My boobs STILL hurt, I mean they are so fricking huge now I literally need a hammock to carry these bazungers around!! Genuinely, the below photo is how big a bra I need now!! no joke!!

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I am tired, but not like I was, instead I seem to be experiencing constant bloating, and some serious aversions to certain smells. The other Mrs. Black, bleached the whole house the other night and tidied whilst I finished an essay, then when she came over to me, her hands stunk like something so vile, I cant even explain it, when I asked her what it was, she said bleach!! BLEACH?? I used to love the smell of bleach….

Well apparently not! she continued to waft her hands around me, so I promptly threw up!! That will learn her!!

Other than that, no major symptoms, a little cramping but nothing major.

I decided that I wanted to book in two early scans, so I am having a 7 week scan, and a 10 week scan. The 10 week scan mostly because we are going to Gran Canaria pride, and I want to know that our baby is ok just before we go, and also because if some of our friends find out, at 10 weeks with a couple of scans behind us, I am hoping it will be ok. I asked the midwife and she said it would be fine, and thats before we even have an official NHS scan, but I am a little more realistic than that and want some proof… I guess I am just anxious to know everythings alright. It feels like everywhere I look people are talking about miscarriage. My sister in law had a mis-miscarry which means she didn’t know, which I just cant think of anything worst, so I want an early scan to make sure everything is ok, to reassure us. Thats not crazy is it?

WhenI got in from work this evening though… it all became a little too official… we have a booking appointment… to see a real midwife, and I have a green booklet…. for all my pregnancy information and appointments….

Maternity Letter

 

Forgive me, I removed all the identifying information…. but

IS THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENING???

When am I going to stop being in denial???

I guess its because I dont want to get too excited until we get the all clear… role on May 18th…

Anger

Today I am just fucking angry. I can’t help it.

I am angry with everything, at everything, about everything and with everyone.

I don’t want to be consoled I feel like enough of a leper as it is without everyone trying to tread on eggs shells around me and tell me how well I’m doing. Fuck off.

I’m not in control, I am not ok, and I don’t wana hear that I’m “doing so well- your coping brilliantly”

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

The only reason everyone else thinks I’m coping is because I don’t do emotion in front of people. I only discuss fact and the action plan we are taking. What else is there? (Don’t answer that)

And then when I am on my own, I let silent tears fall down my cheeks.

All day everyday I am thinking about my eggs and IVF. I am losing the plot on the inside and a stone cold monster on the outside.

Whatever you think. I am not coping. Not one bit. Nothing about this is fucking ok.

This isn’t fair. And it’s taking too long.

I am angry at the world today.

:*(

Three parent families… Genetically

I wrote this post on QueerLandia yesterday hoping that it would generate some discussion, but it hasn’t so I thought I would blog it here, and add some more too it as well, in the hope it generates more discussion.

I saw this in the news a couple of weeks ago, and have been meaning to blog about it for a little while. I am hoping it generates a discussion….

The news reported that some scientific trials to make three parent embryos have taken place, and the UK has now launched a consultation on the matter.

The trials have been coined ‘three-parent in vitro fertilisation’ (IVF) because the offspring would have genes from a mother, a father and from a female donor, who donates some of her DNA.

The original purpose is to prevent some genetic diseases from being passed on. In particular mitochondrial diseases that are passed on genetically through the maternal line and are incurable. So they take out the culprit DNA and replace it with the female donors DNA.

One reporter poses the following questions about this:

how is a child born from this sort of technique might feel?; whether the child should be told?; whether their sense of identity might be affected?; what the rights of the female donor might be?; whether the donation of mitochondrial DNA should be viewed as similar to egg or sperm donation, or more like blood or tissue donation?; and who should decide who can access the treatments?

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health-and-fitness/three-parent-embryos-unnerve-ethicists/article4553114/ 

They claim it raises ethical issues because it is the first step to creating designer babies. I am not sure how I feel about that.

Having recently got married, babies are  definitely on my radar, I have been to a fertility show recently and the options are vast.  We both went in thinking we wanted to do it a certain way, and came out totally confused and completely unsure of how we wanted to conceive. Like did you know that a heterosexual couple only has a 10-14% of getting pregnant at any one time. Therefore the same chances can be applied to IUI (intrauterine insemination) if you do it without drugs that is. With the aid of drugs some clinics claim their chances of getting you pregnant are as high as 40%. I have to say I left feeling pretty pessimistic and naive about the whole affair. I had gone thinking it wouldn’t be a walk in the park, and would cost a lot but I certainly didn’t have any concept of how slim the chances are in relation to how much it would cost. Because its either low chances of fertility or you need to remortgage your house in order to afford it.

ANYWAY

I will be the carrier, my wife has no interest in carrying, BUT, I am desperate to have a child that is genetically both of ours. At the moment that cannot happen, or so I thought. This is why when I saw this article and heard it on the news, my ears immediately pricked up. For me the question isn’t so much about designer babies, but about the opportunities this brings to homosexual people. Does this mean that my wife and I could both parent a child??

Could two men both genetically parent a child??

Is that right? Is it ethical? Is it moral?

I want the answer to be yes, but maybe I am being selfish and only thinking about how desperate I am to carry both mine and my wifes genetic child. Is that right, should I be thinking that way? To me, it doesn’t seem like an ethical problem but a gift, and a miracle.

I would be very interested in what everyone else thought……???????