Tag Archives: intuition

The Old Boys Club of Women's Intuition

intuition-women

 

in·tu·i·tion

/ˌint(y)o͞oˈiSHən/

Noun
  1. The ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning.
  2. A thing that one knows or considers likely from instinctive feeling rather than conscious reasoning.

 

Women’s intuition is a really funny thing. It reminds me a little of an old boys club.

Most, but not all women have exceedingly good intuition. It’s a frighteningly powerful tool we use to seek out ‘wrongs’ or ‘no good’ but sometimes to seek out things we must do, or prevent.

Women generally like to over analyse everything, I am the ultimate example of an over analyser. It’s painfully annoying I hate myself for it, but I simply can’t help it.

I regularly sit around with my friends debating this ‘hunch’ I have, or a feeling I got when so and so looked at Billy bob in a strange way, and now I’m convinced that such and such is happening.

These discussions are highly secretive! If Billy Bob or whoever it was they were looking at were to interrupt or pass by, then hushed silences would fall over us, or indiscrete hand gestures would be thrown around the conversation bringing us to a rather undiplomatic silence.

The thing is our intuition tends to grow with our friends. One of my friends and I in particular, have a strange ability to throw a single look at each other, make one teeny facial expression and convey an entire conversation in an instant.

In fact I might only need to utter a single word or even half a syllable, and she will be nodding enthusiastically saying “mmm hmm, I thought so too”

Not that we would want to admit it, but we women are harbouring ourselves and our intuition in old boys clubs.

My point about this, is, we do strange things. We instinctively know when something’s wrong, when someone’s cheated on us or stabbed us in the back.

I pick up my phone a millisecond before it rings knowing its a particular friend.

And then…. Then there’s the really weird intuition, the intuition about our body’s….

If we pay just a tiny amount of attention to our body we can know all sorts of weird things.

Two months running I knew exactly when I was about to ovulate. So I got up and tested myself and got a positive result…

This month in particular was such a strong sensation that I sat bolt upright and just “knew” even though it wasn’t when I ought to have tested.

Women know things. We do. And we use them to do special, amazing and impossible things.

I think that I knew, I must of. My body must of told me to take that fertility test all those months ago. Something deep down an intuition, an inkling – that despite all the dismissals from the wife and doctors saying I was wasting my money- that I needed to take that test to prove I needed to do something now.

Why else would I of gone against professional advice?

The thing that I love about these boys clubs is that all the women around you coo and cluck in agreement affirming your suspicions because they too ‘had a feeling’ or simply understand because they’ve been there before.

We have an ability to know when you meet someone for the first time if they are a good egg or a bad egg.

I can reel off numerous examples of meeting someone – take another one of my friends, she had this new girlfriend that I took an instant disliking to for no apparent reason. I mean, I met the poor girl for a couple of hours, and immediately hated her. I couldn’t tell my friend why, either. I just didn’t like her.

Turns out the bitch was a psycho, and because I’m a good friend I didn’t say ‘I told you so’ !

In fact, my instinct is so acutely sensitive one of the wife’s best mates asked me to go to dinner with his new girlfriend to suss out whether or not she was worth hanging on for.

Turns out I didn’t like her either, and as it happened, she was a bad egg too.

Sometimes, we just know.

What I am hoping, is that I will know if I’m pregnant before I can test in two weeks… After the insemination yesterday two weeks of waiting is a seriously long time. It’s going to kill me. I’m impatient at the best of times but waiting two weeks for something this important is literally torture.

Maybe I’m over analysing because I’m desperate for a ‘sign’ but seriously…

We know shit right?? Sometimes you can know?!

God I hope so because otherwise it’s going to be a fucking long two weeks!!

 

Rolling out the red carpet of intuition

I have found that people either have intuition or they don’t. I haven’t come across many shades of sort of got intuition.

Apparently I have got it.

 

Yes, I studied Psychology, but it’s more than that. Psychology at degree and masters level is very theory driven, everyone always thinks its that ‘pop’ psychology. With the body language reading etc etc. It isn’t really. I mean you can choose to study that if you want too but generally my degree had nothing to do with that.

Anyway, I kind of knew I had a penchant for reading people and making pretty good character judgements quickly, but I guess I never knew how good.

I was recently rolled out to meet one of the gf’s friends (lets call him Luke for this blog) and his new bit (lets call her Anna). Because Luke and the gf wanted me to suss Anna out and see if she was a ‘good egg’ so to speak. I made a few general comments about Anna to Luke, and it was like a light bulb went off. We had dinner, so I couldn’t have spent much more than 2 or 3 hours with them. But when I made these comments and what the ramifications could be for their future relationship, it seemed like the penny dropped for Luke. He had already had some concerns but I guess he couldn’t place them.

Could have been a one off I guess but I have three other stories over the last year or so in a similar vein.

1. My friend started dating a new girl. For no particular reason, I took an instant dislike to her. To be honest it made me seem completely unreasonable, and my friend wasn’t happy with me. But when she asked me what I thought of her new girlfriend, I told her. I didn’t like her, and she gave me bad vibes. I couldn’t explain why, or how I knew that, but she didn’t and I really urged her to get rid of her. Well, she didn’t not straight away anyway. It took nearly three months. But after that she turned into a total psycho. I mean really, seriously mental. My friend got the hell out of there before she turned killer, and I tried hard not to say I told you so.

2. I had a hair dresser for the best part of a year, and then a new girl started. She started washing my hair before I had it cut, and after a little while I started to get anxious about going to the hair dressers. It got really really bad, I would have full blown anxiety attacks and couldn’t understand why. After a while I put two and two together, and realised that it was the new women washing my hair. I was again completely unreasonable, but would freak out and told my hair dresser I didn’t want her washing my hair and that I would come in with my hair wet in future. It got so bad I didn’t want her anywhere near me. I had no idea why I felt so strongly, I just knew she was bad news. Anyway, a little while later, I admitted to my hair dresser that I didn’t like her one bit and I thought she was bad on the inside, and he stopped what he was doing and said

“are you joking me?”

Me: No, why?

Hairdresser: She has been stalking me, took my number off the work system, and followed me home the other night, pushed me down the alley and said that if I didn’t have sex with her she would tell my manager I raped her.

It transpired that she had been spreading malicious rumours about him, and making his life a misery trying to break up his relationship etc etc. This women was married with kids and everything.

I have to say the anxiety settled after I found out, because I understood why I was feeling like that.

3. This is horrible. Please don’t think that I accuse people randomly or think bad of everyone I don’t. But this is different.

I think I live next door to a child abuser. We moved into this house 1 year and 2 days ago and I have been trying to get the authorities involved ever since.

When we moved in I met him shortly afterwards, and I instantly felt my skin crawl. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I felt physically sick when I saw him. I refused to walk outside alone when he was there, and generally the feeling got worst.

I have noticed him taking the same kids into the house, and they don’t look happy. He obsessively cleans his car, including the boot… removing every tiny spec of dust and dirt. I have NEVER in the whole year I have lived here, seen the curtains open. He keeps himself to himself, and does a number of other odd things.

Anyway, I felt so uneasy that I went to a police friend and asked them to investigate on the quiet, and was told they couldn’t. Then I went to a police colleague in the security unit, and asked them to investigate formally. Now I am on placement in children’s services I have spoken to a couple of senior managers and social workers about how I can get him investigated. The problem is I don’t know his name or the name of the kids. They won’t do anything with out names, to my abject horror and disgust. It is beyond frustrating. I feel helpless, and more helpless to help the kids.

Thing is, I know its not just me who thinks it anymore. The other day my neighbour behind me had a full blown row with the guy calling him a paedo and threatening to bosh him if he ever hurt a kid. I swear I never said a word about what I thought to him. You have to wonder when it’s not just you who thinks it, there has to be some truth. The police were called and everything. I wonder whether they would be more likely to believe my hunch now that the police have been involved already

We have a gut instinct for a reason, and I am convinced mine is right.

I won’t give up and I want him investigated.