Tag Archives: morning sickness

Projectile Sach

Morning sickness… That delightful reminder your carrying your child….

As you cling to what’s left of breakfast, lunch or dinner. You try desperately to console yourself knowing that “it’s a good sign” you try not to feel sorry for yourself or ask yourself why your doing it all! Because you know deep down it will all be worth it.

But today… Took morning sickness to some seriously ridiculous heights.

I like to think of the sickness as puke contractions… The familiar waves building stronger and stronger until your ready to heave ho out your last meal…

Well my puke contractions started towards the end of my last meeting at work. I could feel the sweat start to trickle down my back as I knew what was going to happen. I made a hasty retreat out of the meeting and threw my belongings into my bag running for the lift to the car park…

The lift… Or the torture ride…. Jumping and bouncing its way to the ground floor.

When I got to the door I ran to the car and ripped the door open crouching by it wretching for England. Nothing came up… So I tentatively got into the car and drive home.

About three quarters of the way home I felt the strongest wave of nausea I had had yet. I tried desperately to distract myself reeling off ridiculous word associations trying to think of anything other than puking whilst driving.

I skidded into the drive (ok not skidded, but pulled up fast) and left everything in the car running for my dear friend Mr. toilet.

I couldn’t get the key in the door properly, and the wretching began again, I ripped open the door as the key turned and dived head first into the toilet.

I have never experienced sickness like it. I genuinely thought I was going to suffocate. I threw up so many times in repetition I ran out of air and couldn’t breathe. Gasping for breath between hurls I gripped my temple as the pressure being forced through my head and eyes was unbearable. I really thought I might have burst something in my eye. But I couldn’t stop being sick I had absolutely no control over this violent projectile sickness.

Eventually I stopped throwing up, but I was clinging to the toilet seat shaking and gasping for air for a good few minutes. When I looked in the mirror I discovered that I had burst something but luckily not in my eye, but in my face. Lots and lots of tiny blood vessels burst and have me a nice puke rash all over my face!

So now, I am spotty, bloated, covered in a rash, sick and exhausted!

But it will be worth it… It will right?! ;p

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Tactical Chunder

7 weeks pregnant.

I have reverted back to my teenage days. I am a spotty lesbian! My back and boobs are covered in spots 🙁 and I have major hormone rage!! Everyone is pissing me off!

I still have sore MASSIVE boobies, thankfully the exhaustion is wearing off a little but….

Morning sickness has well and truly hit.

Because no one knows I find myself having to do tactical chunders as we used to call them at Uni!

Secretly puking and carrying on the night! Except now it’s day time and I have to do it so no one can see!!

We were at a friends house warming party last night and it got pretty late, I could feel a wave of nausea pummelling my insides. I gave the wife the knowing look suggesting that now would be a good time to leave, but she didn’t quite get the message cause she was having such a good time. After some furious leg tapping and a few more sharp looks she reluctantly got up to leave.

We had barely got out of there drive when I was making her pull into the roadside so I could lean out of the car door and tactically throw up by the kerbside grass.

Again today on the way up to my mums we were in stop start traffic and I was starving. Hunger combined with some dodgy clutch work resulted in the wife once again having to pull over so I could hurl my inside up all over some motorway grass….

The wife says she can tell when I’m not feeling so hot because I turn a funny shade of greeny white!!

I can’t wait for the scan on Wednesday. I have been really trying hard not to google anything but I read somewhere that once you have a scan with the heart beat and everything looks normal and you reach 7ish weeks the chance of miscarriage drops significantly and keeps doing so week by week… So I think it will help me to relax quite a bit if we get the all clear on the scan 🙂

Fingers crossed

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