Tag Archives: planning

Sacha Found A New Muse

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This blog seems to have split itself into two, entirely by accident. The Sacha who is going through fertility issues, and the Sacha who started the blog to write because she so loves to write, but to blog her life – her journey to trying to be an author and her quest to find her dreams.

Well, having blogged a lot about the fertility issues, I thought I would take it back to the roots today.

For those who are interested in the fertility stuff, thanks to your kind advice, I have decided to go back to Denmark to try again. I should be going on Sunday, so I will keep you all up to date.

But today is all about muses.

With all the fertility stuff, my head became thick and groggy, and not only did my muse leave me, but so did every ounce of creativity and all my ideas.

Well, a friend came over a couple of days ago, lets call her EC and we were talking about books, when I happened to mention the novel I was trying to plan, and eventually write. EC was really enthusiastic and asked me all about it. But in asking me, she questioned me about the gaps and holes in my plan, where I had hit brick walls and failed to finish planning bits.

It was like someone had reignited the dying embers of s fire. I was beyond away, I was literally on fire.

I forgot that I think out loud. I am such an extrovert, that even my thinking is done on the outside! I think whilst I talk. Literally. Talking helps me to think through ideas.

So as she was asking me all these questions, I already had most of the answers in my head, because I knew the story and the characters, I just hadn’t pieced bits together, or hadn’t solidified the connections between characters.

EC fired question after question at me, and I pulled answer after answer out of what seemed to be thin air. But they all made sense and fitted. She is my muse!

She knew all the right questions to ask to get me to fill in my gaps, and with every answer she became more and more excited.

After the session which lasted well into the early hours of the morning, I spent the last few days mapping out and drawing up plans and sketches and doing lots and lots of work. EC then said if I wanted help she would come over and help me again. She just volunteered to do that.

I guess sometimes people surprise you in good ways, and not just bad ones. People who you don’t necessarily expect to want to help you. I mean, she is a dear friend of mine, she gave a reading at the wedding, was on my hen do and is genuinely one of my closest friends, but I guess I just never expected anyone to be that interested in my book. I think I had got to a place where I thought my story was rubbish and not worth pursuing. I hit a brick wall right before all the fertility stuff kicked off and my brain went into melt down. I lost all confidence in myself, let alone my abilities. But after her excitement and insistence on me finishing the story, and then volunteering to help again, I found a new confidence and drive to get the book back on track.

Well, this evening EC came back over, and we sat for 5 hours discussing the book. FIVE hours!!! she is not only a ridiculously good friend, but seriously how dedicated is that!? god damn love that girl! what a total legend. Then, she as she left she offered to come back again and help!! She thinks the story is that good!

The other thing which was nice, is that through the chats EC and I had, the wife also joined in. Which is lovely, because the wife isn’t much of a reader, and doesn’t necessarily find me harping on about my book all the time that interesting. So she doesn’t really offer to talk about it much which is a shame, because she is full of amazing ideas.

But anyway, after 5 hours of planning and discussion this evening, I am exhausted! I have some serious work to put into this book now, and all before EC comes over for another Q & A!!

What a confidence boost this last week has been, and what a truly brilliant friend I have.

EC, I love you to bits 🙂

Writers Fear

‘Writers Fear’ is real, I have it.

I reached a point of self doubt and self loathing and fear of failure, and its sucking me dry. I am at a point in the planning where I ought to be making definitive decisions, or at least my brain is telling me that I should. I have got quite far through, but have the last hard slog of final character plotting, and deciding what happens in which chapter, but instead of doing it and getting on with it, I have been paralysed with fear.

I cant seem to do anything. I am finding excuses for not writing in the studio… some reasonable, like the fact I don’t have a stool high enough to fit the table, but the point is I am procrastinating, I am afraid that I might run out of ideas and not be able to finish the planning, I am really afraid of that and it’s making me stall, preventing me from being productive, or from doing anything… at all.

I cant decided how much planning is too much, and more importantly, it’s a frightening though that if I do finish the planning then I actually need to sit down and write it, and what if I can’t?

Despite all these, I am aching to crack on and to start writing, but I refuse to write anything until all the planning is done. Maybe I shouldn’t have tried to write novels simultaneously!!