Exhaustion, and Deliria are finally setting in.
I have 4 to do lists going, Home, Work, Wedding and Urgent! Alongside my 11 wedding spreadsheets… Is that overkill??
Probably, me thinks!
Long gone are the times when I could finish things in advanced, turn up to meetings or events early, remember conversations…
In fact remember anything.
I was at work today in some kind of half delirious barely conscious state and I could see people talking at me, I was staring, watching their mouths move up and down, gesturing wildly at me, and I had absolutely no idea what they were saying, its like i’d pressed mute on the TV, or temporarily gone deaf.
My mother rang me to ask me something about the wedding, and she swears she was asking me something simple, and I thought she was genuinely speaking swahili. She had to explain it 6 times to me!!
My brain is so full there is LITERALLY no room for any more information. You try and add something in, something else falls out my ear, or nose to make room.
My dear friend is helping me with all the girlie stuff for the wedding as I am not very girlie, and todays topic of choice was nails.
Well I about nearly had a coronary right there.
She bombarded me with more choices than I’ve had hot meals in the last month. Seriously, HOW are there that many options for having your nails done? She sat there after having given me a list as long as my arm, I felt like I was being beaten up with girliness!! The words were wafting through the air and buzzing around my already mush filled useless brain. There were so many options, I had to stop her in her tracks and tell her to make an executive decision on my behalf, I can’t cope!!
As if I don’t have enough to contend with, I realised today that my current assignment is due in in a little over two weeks, what is more, my dissertation proposal is due in 4 days after the wedding. It was right around this point, driving home from a not particularly nice, very hot and stuffy, long day at work, that I lost it.
I broke down into a fit of hysterical laughter, on my own in the car, I laughed so hard I cried, and ended up in a weird sobbing state of laughter, I couldn’t control it. I don’t really know if I was laughing for crying, I think probably both simultaneously. It lasted most of the way home.
I feel better now!
I think I am losing it!