Humans have this kind of innate default position for hope. It’s in built, whatever happens to us, and whatever were put through we always default back to hope; even in severe, terrible situations, you find humans resolute in their hope.
I guess tomorrow represents my hope.
I have been peeing on sticks and testing to see if i’m ovulating since Saturday. I was almost ready to give up hope, and thought I wasn’t going to ovulate but as if fate itself was playing tricks on me, I took at test at lunch today and I got a positive!
So I took the rest of the day off work, and booked flights, car parking, and got some money changed up.
Tomorrow, we are flying to Denmark for the day, to try our first cycle of IUI. If anyone out there is reading this send me positive, sticky, pregnant like vibes.
We don’t really know what the stats/chances are of success, the usual is only about 16%. This clinic says my chances are 25% because I am young. I am not sure they are really taking into consideration my AMH level, and hormones and stuff. But I guess they are professionals and know what they are talking about.
We will see.
Either way, at 2pm tomorrow (Denmark time) I will be going through my first cycle of IUI. Part of me really thinks it won’t work. But theres this other part of me that is hoping beyond all hope that it does, otherwise, it’s yet another chance gone… and I don’t have many chances left.
I am terrified it will work, and terrified it won’t. Either way the consequences are serious, and life changing.
I will update soon… I imagine the two week wait is going to be tortuous.
Today has been a bit up and down too! I was full of excitement and nerves, but then I walked past Next (and the baby section) so decided to walk in and see how it felt, well I took one look at the baby grows and nearly threw up in my mouth! and ran out. It’s not real yet! It’s too scary and I don’t want to jinx myself!
Anyway, whoever reads this… think of me tomorrow. 🙂