Monthly Archives: April 2013

P!nk the Machine!

I went to a P!nk concert on Saturday, and took a few photos, I was gobsmacked at how close we got, I really expected (because we had standing tickets, and rocked up at 7 just as doors opened) to be right at the back somewhere. Obviously I didn’t want to be at the front because I didn’t want to get crushed whilst pregnant. But low and behold we managed to stand just a few people from the front of the stage. So close in fact that I could see the sweat drip off her beautiful face, and her incredible six pack! Not only did she sing continually for two hours, but she also did her usual unbelievable acrobatics and showed some impressive strength lifting a guy horizontally off the ground whilst singing!

It was basically a lez fest! I haven’t seen that many lesbians all crammed into one room since… well since pride! and in fact, we happened to casually bump into a whole bunch of lesbians that we knew!

Anyway, I thought I would share a photo, one of her flying around the entire stadium. I thought it was particularly arty, and I impressed myself because it was so moody and interesting. I hope you like it as much as me.

DSCN1740

Projectile Sach

Morning sickness… That delightful reminder your carrying your child….

As you cling to what’s left of breakfast, lunch or dinner. You try desperately to console yourself knowing that “it’s a good sign” you try not to feel sorry for yourself or ask yourself why your doing it all! Because you know deep down it will all be worth it.

But today… Took morning sickness to some seriously ridiculous heights.

I like to think of the sickness as puke contractions… The familiar waves building stronger and stronger until your ready to heave ho out your last meal…

Well my puke contractions started towards the end of my last meeting at work. I could feel the sweat start to trickle down my back as I knew what was going to happen. I made a hasty retreat out of the meeting and threw my belongings into my bag running for the lift to the car park…

The lift… Or the torture ride…. Jumping and bouncing its way to the ground floor.

When I got to the door I ran to the car and ripped the door open crouching by it wretching for England. Nothing came up… So I tentatively got into the car and drive home.

About three quarters of the way home I felt the strongest wave of nausea I had had yet. I tried desperately to distract myself reeling off ridiculous word associations trying to think of anything other than puking whilst driving.

I skidded into the drive (ok not skidded, but pulled up fast) and left everything in the car running for my dear friend Mr. toilet.

I couldn’t get the key in the door properly, and the wretching began again, I ripped open the door as the key turned and dived head first into the toilet.

I have never experienced sickness like it. I genuinely thought I was going to suffocate. I threw up so many times in repetition I ran out of air and couldn’t breathe. Gasping for breath between hurls I gripped my temple as the pressure being forced through my head and eyes was unbearable. I really thought I might have burst something in my eye. But I couldn’t stop being sick I had absolutely no control over this violent projectile sickness.

Eventually I stopped throwing up, but I was clinging to the toilet seat shaking and gasping for air for a good few minutes. When I looked in the mirror I discovered that I had burst something but luckily not in my eye, but in my face. Lots and lots of tiny blood vessels burst and have me a nice puke rash all over my face!

So now, I am spotty, bloated, covered in a rash, sick and exhausted!

But it will be worth it… It will right?! ;p

20130419-215530.jpg

Properly Pregnant! :O

Baby

7 Weeks 5 Days

I will be honest, despite taking roughly a billion pregnancy tests, I was most definitely in denial. I tried walking round Kiddicare and Mothercare, two HUGE baby shops, but I just… I duno, it didn’t sink in.

I have spent at least the last month in shock and denial. Not daring to get excited, or believe it is true.

I guess the doctors had drummed in the negativity so much, I forgot that I could actually be pregnant.

Last night, sure set me straight.

We had our first scan. An early pregnancy and dating scan. I could just about make out the head, you can’t in the photo but you could on the screen. But more mind blowing, you could see the heart beat.

The image of last night is so clear, sat in this dark relaxing room screen in front of me, nerves coursing through my body…

I watched as he prodded my bloated belly and up on the screen came this tiny little splodge… with an even tinier beating heart. I stared shell shocked, as the wife bounced around her seat saying

“OH MY GOD, THERES A HEART BEAT, LOOK A HEART BEAT!!!”

My whole world halted, the wifes voice became a muffled cheer as I stared shell shocked at a beating heart. That moment felt like a life time, and then a huge wave of shock punched me in the chest, and I broke down and cried.

Well it explains the throwing up… which is all the time!

Tactical Chunder

7 weeks pregnant.

I have reverted back to my teenage days. I am a spotty lesbian! My back and boobs are covered in spots 🙁 and I have major hormone rage!! Everyone is pissing me off!

I still have sore MASSIVE boobies, thankfully the exhaustion is wearing off a little but….

Morning sickness has well and truly hit.

Because no one knows I find myself having to do tactical chunders as we used to call them at Uni!

Secretly puking and carrying on the night! Except now it’s day time and I have to do it so no one can see!!

We were at a friends house warming party last night and it got pretty late, I could feel a wave of nausea pummelling my insides. I gave the wife the knowing look suggesting that now would be a good time to leave, but she didn’t quite get the message cause she was having such a good time. After some furious leg tapping and a few more sharp looks she reluctantly got up to leave.

We had barely got out of there drive when I was making her pull into the roadside so I could lean out of the car door and tactically throw up by the kerbside grass.

Again today on the way up to my mums we were in stop start traffic and I was starving. Hunger combined with some dodgy clutch work resulted in the wife once again having to pull over so I could hurl my inside up all over some motorway grass….

The wife says she can tell when I’m not feeling so hot because I turn a funny shade of greeny white!!

I can’t wait for the scan on Wednesday. I have been really trying hard not to google anything but I read somewhere that once you have a scan with the heart beat and everything looks normal and you reach 7ish weeks the chance of miscarriage drops significantly and keeps doing so week by week… So I think it will help me to relax quite a bit if we get the all clear on the scan 🙂

Fingers crossed

20130413-171650.jpg

The insane Asylum – A bizarre dream!

This is for artofstumbling, I love how she writes down her dreams some of them are fascinating, and seeing as I had a particularly bizarre one last night, and I don’t usually remember I thought I would write it down!

I am not quite sure if I was working in, or a patient, but I was in an insane asylum.

The walls were white, and there was a long corridor filled with white doors, at the end of the corridor was a circular room filled with doors, these were the bedrooms, and in the centre was a couple of sofas.

I was in the circular room with all the doors, and there were some doctors in long white coats standing with flip charts discussing patients, I stared at them for some time trying to over here what they were saying, but I couldn’t.

I heard a loud banging as a door ripped off its hinges. I turned round shocked, and the largest man I have ever seen lumbered out of his room. He must of been nearly 8ft tall. His body enormous, and cut with muscles so large he could easily crush my head in his hands. His skin was tanned and sweat was rolling down his biceps. I stepped to the side to allow him to pass, and he looked at me as he walked passed.

I don’t remember his face, just his enormous looming stature towering above me.

I watched him lumber his way down the long white corridor. He stopped turned to face me and nodded. Then disappeared up the corridor.

I could hear screaming and shouting coming from the frantic doctors behind me. I watched their slow motion moves throwing the clip boards in the air papers flying everywhere and running after the huge man.

Before they could run in front of me, I bolted down the corridor and skidded to a stop in front of the door the lumbering man had gone through. It opened into what looked like a big social room that was being turned into a modern church, rows of seats either side, tradesmen hunched over working on something on the floor. The towering man just stepped over their wide eyed stares and continued walking towards the blue door at the back of the room.

He smashed it open, and a wave of warm stuffy air filled the room. Outside was dark, but there were a few twinkling lights. He stepped outside.

I found myself looking back at the blue door from outside, there was a wooden balcony running all the way round the perimeter of the building. It was night, and we were in the desert.

The man ran off.

This part of my dream is hazy, but I know some time passed.

I found him in a seedy american motel, I think he was probably raping and torturing women, thats what it felt like he was doing, although I never caught him at it.

At this point a man, a doctor – the head of the asylum, walked in front of me and headed straight toward the rapist. I flittered between watching the doctor, and being the doctor. His words were my words, but I was watching him say them.

He spoke to the tall man, and calmed him down, convinced him that he needed to come back to the asylum,

“you need to come home son.”

The tall rapist nodded and walked back to the asylum with the doctor. It was daylight now, and I could feel how weary I was getting.

Suddenly, I was in a long narrow garden, with funny stone squares planted in the floor. The long garden was littered with green plants and pebbles. I was a the top of the garden with the doctor and another women, and behind us, was the army or some similar ‘authority’ the soldiers were dressed in army greens and holding shiny black weapons.

Infront of us was a low lying arch, the other end of which was the real world. Inside the arch were a couple of pills, and half a mannequin of the body and breasts of a pregnant women, but no arms or legs.

It was a rebirth canal. The patients who got better has to be reborn into the world to start their new lives.

The army people were questioning the doctor and a box of pills he was holding, they wanted them, wanted his secrets. But the doctor wouldn’t give them to them.

The doctor, now me, was explaining what the pills were, the garden was flooding but the army hadn’t noticed.

I threw the pills into the flooded arch to save them and watched them disappear. Chaos ensued and I woke up…

 

 

Liebster, and everything you ever wanted to know about Sacha Black… well sort of!

I am a bad blogger, I was nominated for an award, and because life got in the way I didn’t have a chance to follow it up. Not only that, but a dear blogging friend, tried to cheer me up with some interesting questions and I didn’t get the chance to do them.

Firstly A H Amin who asked me the following questions:

1. What is the strangest thing you have ever eaten in public?

hmm, probably nothing that strange, I am a veggie, and a fussy one at that. I don’t really eat weird things, but I have tried Deer in Nepal, and some other strange meats that I have no idea what they were. But as for strange… literally nothing!

2. If you had to go on an adventure, with elves, dwarves, or hobbits, who would you take and why?

Gandalf? Clearly a sick wizard!

3. You are at a rural retreat lodge somewhere deep in Wisconsin or Canada. You are approached by a taxidermist who hands you a stuffed badger and asks you to put it in your lap. What do you do next?

Politely decline and make a hasty retreat!! Or reach for the shotgun that’s clearly stowed behind the door of the cabin, and tell him to back the fuck away with the rodent!

4. If you were given biscotti, would you prefer it with coffee, tea, or hot chocolate?

Not drinking caffeine currently for obvious reasons, but I am partial for a mocha!!

5. In your opinion, who is the funniest man or woman alive today (comedian)

Lee Evans, or Michael McIntyre.

6. If you were given thirty seconds on television to say something, what would it be?

Well I have been on television, I was the lead character in a children’s programme that aired twice a week for six weeks when I was 16… but if I told you what it was I would have to kill you!

IF I got to go on prime time TV now and say something meaningful?

“Keep chasing the dream, and never forget it, love well, live hard, and sleep when you die!”

7. What is your idea of the most romantic date setting ever?

I dont have a single romantic bone in my body. er… Dirty weekend away? Ok maybe not… um… Dinner under the Eiffel tower? Ugh, god I duno. I give up!

8. If you could go on one date with a movie or television star, who would it be and why?

As long as the wife’s not listening then Ellen Page

"Defiance" at the 2008 AFI Fest Closing Night Gala

Because I fancy the shit out of her!!

But if the wifes listening… ah fuck it, she knows I think shes hot!

If not her, then maybe Mila Kunis… nom nom nom.

Altho… Thor is pretty hot, and I always thought Ryan Gosling looked like my wifes brother, so I can’t help but find him attractive!!

9. What is the worst song you have ever heard?

All things R&B, Rap, Hip Hop or heavy metal…. sorry for any fans out there!

10. If you could live anywhere else, where would it be?

Duno about live… but I would be right here….

muse

11. Who- in your opinion- was the greatest person to ever live?

Da Vinci. No questions. Fucking Ledge.

Ok, so the other two people I owe a posts to are Rebecca, and 2cagedbirds for nominating me for the Liebster award

liebster-award

Ok so there are lots of rules related to the Liebster, but instead of nominating and asking questions etc, I am just going to answer the questions asked of me, and I will add another page to my blog, with a list of all my favourite and regularly read blogs…. That will happen… shortly!

1. Your earliest childhood memory?

Waiting at the window for hours on end, asking my mother if “that was daddys car”

“is that daddies car, momma?”

He would never turn up.

2. Music playing when you made love for the first time, or associated with your first love

er… cant remember or dont want to remember… in fact I dont think there was music on.

3. How you feel about that person now

First person I loved wasn’t the first person I made love too. The first person I made love to I feel indifferent about, the first person I loved… I still think they are attractive and I hope they are happy.

4. How you feel about that music now

N/A??

5. Favourite recent song

ooh, too many, I like

Swedish House Mafia – Greyhound

Lies – Otto Dix

Perfect Replacement – Example

6. What hurts your feelings most nowadays? One example please!

Tough, because I very very rarely get my feelings hurt. I have a ridiculously thick skin, and a pretty big sense of humour.

I dont like people mugging me off, or disrespecting me.

7. What you would like to do next in your life

Have this baby, and finish my bloody novel.

8. Are you attracted to your own sex?

Fuck yes.

9.What is the worst aspect of the opposite sex?

EVERYTHING. Usually rubbish in bed (sorry!) they can’t communicate and most of the ones I have known are pretty ignorant.

10. Can pets replace people in your life?

Probably! I have two cats, and I love them dearly!

11. Will you fall in love again?

I hope not, not in romantic love anyway, I love my wife too much to fall for anyone else. But I imagine I will fall in love with my baby in a different way, a parental love.

  1.  What was your favorite book as a child?

Thats impossible to answer, I read everything, literally everything when I was a kid. So much so, I had to change libraries cause I’d read everything! Also depends what age you mean by kid? as a young child I like wierd books by babette cole, as a teenager I read everything under the sun, from kids books by jacqueline wilson, to classics like of mice an men…. probably my fave from my teenage years was ‘A Solitaire Mystery” by Jostein Gaarder

2. What are your favorite midnight snacks?

dont tend to snack at night, but probably a bagel, and juice!

3. If you got to have a fictional dinner party, who would you invite?  Your list better include me and Harry Potter, or you can just skip this question.

Do you know, I probably would invite all my fave bloggers, I would also invite some of the characters from my novel, and Da Vinci, Mandela, my mum and my bezzie mates

4. When you were a kid, what did you want your name to be?  Be honest, everyone goes through that phase.

I have no idea, I always wanted to change my name though, because my real name is ridiculously long. but I love the name Sacha Black, and I have considered changing my name by depole to it. Sometimes, I feel like I am more Sacha Black than I am the real me. I will certainly be publishing my work under the name Sacha Black.

5. Got any tattoos?

yeh one, that said I was a dick when I was 18!! My arms the one in the middle, my friends are mocking me, its meant to be the symbol for psychology…. which looks like the symbol next to the photo, but thats what happens when you draw things in a tattoo parlour when your inebriated in a foreign country… told you i was a dick… can I also point out when I have been drunk and passed out my mates think its funny to draw a spoon and a knife next to the fork!!

tatpsychology copy

6. You can visit anyplace, real or fictional.  Where do you go?  

fictional…. the world I have created in my novel….

real life… China or Africa

7. What’s the coolest place you’ve ever actually visited?

Ive trekked up to Mount Everest Base camp….

409101_10150678141777079_1012688818_n

Everest is the tall black mountain in the back right of the photo. Its black because its so high it is in the wind currents and the wind has blown all the snow off.

8. In detail, tell us how you feel about shag carpet.  (I may or may not be struggling for ideas.)

shag carpet? What the thingy thats white and fluffy… um, they are usually itchy! but i kinda like them!!

9. Stealing from Amy this time.  Write a haiku about your favorite article of clothing.

not sure how to do this, so I will get back to you on this one!

10. Do you like “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along-Blog?  If you’ve never watched it, go do so now.  Netflix or Youtube.  I’ll wait.  Ok.  So, did you like it? 

not sure i get it… but I did youtube!!

11. Favorite musical artist?

good question, I like loads.

Example, Swedish house mafia, gemini, flux pavilion, Otto Dix, James Arthur, ludovico einaudi, Missy Higgins, Snow Patrol, Pink, robbie williams! basically anyting dubstep, or basey,  oh and Emeli Sande, which can I just add everyone thinks I look like her! One day when I reveal myself, I will do a separated at birth type post with a photo of me and her!

Thats all folks… will post up the list of bloggers shortly….

All Things Pregnancy

5 weeks 6 days

So I seem to have acquired a pretty hefty backlog of blogs I owe myself and other fellow bloggers, so I will sit here tonight and write them and set them to upload over the next few days…

So pregnancy…

Anyone else ever experience denial? I think its the shock, I just cant seem to accept the fact I am pregnant. I just cant believe it, I mean part of me does obviously. I duno it is just so surreal…

I mean I have now done 18…. 18 pregnancy tests… a little psycho I know…

IMG_1405

 

That was this mornings… the test line is now darker than the control line…. mental, I look at these tests every morning and just think, how am I creating positive pregnanct tests!!

My boobs STILL hurt, I mean they are so fricking huge now I literally need a hammock to carry these bazungers around!! Genuinely, the below photo is how big a bra I need now!! no joke!!

Big20Bra_thumbnail

 

I am tired, but not like I was, instead I seem to be experiencing constant bloating, and some serious aversions to certain smells. The other Mrs. Black, bleached the whole house the other night and tidied whilst I finished an essay, then when she came over to me, her hands stunk like something so vile, I cant even explain it, when I asked her what it was, she said bleach!! BLEACH?? I used to love the smell of bleach….

Well apparently not! she continued to waft her hands around me, so I promptly threw up!! That will learn her!!

Other than that, no major symptoms, a little cramping but nothing major.

I decided that I wanted to book in two early scans, so I am having a 7 week scan, and a 10 week scan. The 10 week scan mostly because we are going to Gran Canaria pride, and I want to know that our baby is ok just before we go, and also because if some of our friends find out, at 10 weeks with a couple of scans behind us, I am hoping it will be ok. I asked the midwife and she said it would be fine, and thats before we even have an official NHS scan, but I am a little more realistic than that and want some proof… I guess I am just anxious to know everythings alright. It feels like everywhere I look people are talking about miscarriage. My sister in law had a mis-miscarry which means she didn’t know, which I just cant think of anything worst, so I want an early scan to make sure everything is ok, to reassure us. Thats not crazy is it?

WhenI got in from work this evening though… it all became a little too official… we have a booking appointment… to see a real midwife, and I have a green booklet…. for all my pregnancy information and appointments….

Maternity Letter

 

Forgive me, I removed all the identifying information…. but

IS THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENING???

When am I going to stop being in denial???

I guess its because I dont want to get too excited until we get the all clear… role on May 18th…