I’ve been absent sometime now; I burnt out. Which I am sure, for anyone that knows me, is not a surprise. Am I back? Yes, and also no. But that’s for another blog post. Today I have something exciting to announce.

In typical Sacha fashion, despite burning out and sleeping A LOT, I continued getting 13 Steps To Evil – How To Craft A Superbad Villain ready for publication.

Well, guess what?

 It’s ready.

That’s right, FINALLY, after a 5-year long road, that’s been bumpier than the Himalayas, 2017 marks the year I release the first of hopefully many books.

 I can’t believe I am really going to say this, but:

13 Steps To Evil is coming to you on the 30^th May 2017.

 So, because I’m launching in just a couple weeks, I’d love your help with two things:

1. I’m looking for advance readers, who would be willing to leave an honest review on Amazon and or Goodreads.

2. The second thing is help with the launch. If you’re willing, I’d be grateful for help spreading the word on social media come launch month. I’ll be setting up a file with info/images/shareables that I can send to anyone willing to help.

What will you get for helping?

My undying gratitude obvs. And a big fat hug when we meet.

For everyone willing to review 13 Steps to Evil, of course, I’ll give you the eBook for free.

For everyone that joins my street team, I’ll be running a street team only competition to win a free signed paperback as well as a 1000 word (or first chapter) critique from me (open internationally).

If you’re willing to help let me know in the comments, drop me an email, or ping me on social media (links below)

***

Want to know a little more about 13 Steps To Evil?

13 Steps to Evil has been carefully designed to give writers like you, a detailed guide to creating the most kick ass villain you can.

Are you fed up of drowning in two-dimensional villains? Frustrated with creating clichés? And failing to get your reader to root for your villain?

In the book you’ll learn all kinds of awesome stuff like,

• How to develop a villain mindset
• The step-by-step guide to creating your villain from the ground up
• Why getting to the core of your villain’s personality is essential to make them credible and believable
• What evil pitfalls and clichés to avoid as well as the tropes your story needs

Finally, there’s a comprehensive writing guide to help you create Superbad villains. I’ve spent hundreds of hours researching and interviewing writers to make sure 13 Steps To Evil is tailored to your exact needs.

Whether you’re just starting out or a seasoned writer, this book will help power up your bad guy and give them that extra edge. It will also help you master the perfect balance of good and evil as well as strengthening your villain to give your story the tension and punch it needs.

You’ll get the same dark humour, you find in these blog posts and I use a ton of well-known examples to help explain the steps.

Want to write the best villain you can? 13 Steps To Evil is your book.

***

As part of the publication, I’ll also be launching a short villains companion course and a free checklist. If you’d like those sign up to my mailing list and I’ll give you all the info shortly.

You can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest

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To nominate, go here, and fill out all the relevant information.

For those that don’t know, the Annual Bloggers Bash is an annual get together for all bloggers from all platforms from all countries. As part of the get together we host a set of awards, nominated and voted for by you the bloggers and readers.

If you would like to come to the bloggers bash, it’s on the 10th June in London, more information can be found here and you can buy your ticket here.

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FORTY-EIGHT DAYS

The countdown really has begun. It’s less than 50 days to go until the big day and boy am I getting excited

Don’t know what the bash is? It’s an annual event for bloggers. It’s a physical meet up in London, England and it’s open to any blogger from any platform, in any country. There will be speakers, awards, a debate panel, lots of laughs and great conversation – what more could a blogger want? Find out more here and the FAQs here.

TIME IS RUNNING OUT TO BUY YOUR TICKETS.

Not only are the tickets selling fast, but sales will end on the 7th June. SO GET YOUR TICKET NOW BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE.

NOMINATIONS OPEN

The nominations are open too. If you haven’t nominated your favorite blog to win an award yet, then time is running out. Nominations will close on the 8th May, you can nominate HERE.

WHERE?

This year, it is being held at the Wellington Suite in the Grange Wellington Hotel. 71 Vincent Square, Westminster, London SW1P 2PA on Saturday 10th June 2017.

There’s only three things that you will need to be allowed in:

1. Yourself

2. A massive hug ready for Hugh

3. A ticket.

Bloggers Bash tickets are now on sale for the BARGAIN price of just ten English pounds – £10.00 GBP and with only a limited capacity there are only a small number left. So, it’s first come, first served and if you ain’t got a ticket, you ain’t coming in!

Tickets can only be purchased via PayPal in advance from the bottom of the post.

We’re busy preparing an agenda, which will be released shortly, and for more information, you can read the FAQ’s here.

Don’t forget to join the bloggers bash facebook group, follow us on twitter, and use the hashtag #bloggersbash.

If you want to be the first to hear about anything bash related, then sign up to our mailing list here.

Let’s not forget the small print:

The SMALL Print

• Tickets are non-refundable unless the event is cancelled
• Tickets are non-transferable
• Tickets are limited on a first come first served basis
• Cost of a ticket is for entry to the event only (not for food or anything else)
• Those buying a ticket agree to comply with any health & safety rules set by the venue and to behave in a way that will not impact upon the enjoyment of other people
• The Committee reserves the right to change the venue and/or agenda of the event
• Payment for tickets via PayPal only
• Tickets will be sent to the email address provided by paypal no later than three days before the event
• If you want to be involved in the link up post sharing blog addresses before the event you must send your blog address to: annualbloggersbash@yahoo.co.uk

So, what are you waiting for?

HAVE YOU BOUGHT YOUR TICKET YET???

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Each year it continues to grow in size which means what we do needs to grow in size too.

Sure, it’s a big blog social, but that doesn’t mean we don’t take it seriously. What started out as one nosy blogger more desperate to meet the friends she’d made online than stay safe and introverted behind the screen, is slowly turning a beast.

One day, I hope, the BASH will be a huge blogging festival. I can dream, right? Besides, I brainwashed the minions into obedience before they knew what they were signing up to and I have plans to recruit more. SHHH, they’ll never know.

So this year, we decided to overhaul the Bash, logos and all. The lovely George Grey, used by both Geoff and Hugh for their cover designs, has upped the BASH anti and given us a much slicker look.

Ladies and gents, the new bash logo…

If you haven’t bought your ticket for the biggest blog social of the year, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE? Go, buy it, now… (from here).

We’re running a blog competition too if you want to win a tonne of prizes, like a critique, beta read and book trailer, then check it out here, the competition closes on the 1st of March.

Stay tuned, because we will be releasing the new BASH awards for 2017 next month, we will then be open for nominations in April and then folks… voting will open in May. CAN YOU FREAKING BELIEVE IT? We’re only two and a half months from voting! *gulp*

Sign up for publishing news, writing comps and writing tips galore here.

You can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Goodreads

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When I saw this image on pinterest I didn’t even have to think twice. I pinned it immediately. Why? Because I thought it was terrifying. I have a bit of a morbid fascination with anything that makes me feel uncomfortable or scared or awkward. This photo sent ripples of chills down my back. I scrunched up my face and peered closer even though I was a bit scared the puppet might jump out of my phone at me! It also happened to get a lot of repins, I figured if it was popular on pinterest, it might also be a worthy inspiration. I hope you like it… or if not, I hope it terrifies you! :p

Here’s mine:

Puppet Face by Sacha Black

Even though it was dim, I could still see his bony finger extend out towards me, as sharp and accusing as the icy air around us.

“You’re fault. You’re fault,” he sang in childlike tones. He danced around my chair on his disembodied strings, making jerky twists and convulsions.

“How is this possible?” I mumbled through the wadding stuffed into my mouth, “He’s inanimate. This can’t be real.” 

 He stopped dancing and faced me, his strings suspended above him, drifting lazily.

I shifted in my seat, desperate to loosen the ropes that were restraining my wrists. I yanked my shoulder round, but instead of releasing it tightened the rope and pressed my arm into the chair’s frame. 

“What do you want from me?” I mumbled, desperately shaking my head and tonguing at the wadding trying to push it out of my mouth.

Sweat began to drip down my back and forearms. I strained again. The wadding pushed loose. I caught a finger under the rope’s knot. If I pulled hard enough I could loosen it enough to get free.

The puppet cocked his head from behind the eerie white mask. He let out a shrill cackled and  pulled the mask down.

I screamed.

Hollow eye sockets stared back at me. Empty of sight, yet he still peered at me knowingly.

“You should have made me eyes.” 

He scuttled out of sight. I slammed my body against the chairs back and it edged a little way towards the door. I did it again. Each time harder. Pain splintered across my shoulders, but I ignored it. I tried to jump my way across the floor instead. One hop. Two. I paused, panting. My heart hammered against my rib cage, each beat a thunderous storm racing to get out of this room. 

Something glinted. Long. Thin. It was metal. My eyes widened. Another cackle. The lights went out.

***

Now to last week’s wonderful Writespiration entrants who were writing scenes where characters get criticised:

First up Rachel with this emotional 100-worder:

“We’re going to a wedding, not a funeral! Look happy.” she told me as she put on mascara, her face inches away from the mirror.

I sat on her bed watching her waiting for my turn in front of the mirror. I was happy. But did she remember the way she spoke to me minutes ago?

“Don’t wear your hair like that. Those shoes don’t look well with that dress. You’re going to put on make-up, right?”

Sure, I was happy to go to the wedding. It was just hard to be happy sitting in the same room as her.

***

Next Geoff, with a hilarious, (and true) story from his school days:

Mr Gilbert

Charlie Gilbert taught us French in the first form (year 7 these days). He was as old as the planet, had whiskers that picked up radio waves for fun and hated, as in became demented, if you spoke while he was talking.
Whoever timetabled French lessons for the first period after lunch in a warm September was barking. The only ways to keep awake while Mr Gilbert devoted his time to explaining the beauties of avoir were (a) to jab your thigh with a compass (b) try and go cross-eyed or (c) talk to your neighbour.
Mr Gilbert heard the whispering. His voice could have been used in place of CPR to bring people back from the dead. ‘WHO SPOKE?’
Necessarily no one confessed.
If you can see the Great Wall of China from space then, despite the vacuum I’m certain you could hear Mr Gilbert’s next question. ‘CONFESS OR DIE!’
Still no one spoke.
Mr Gilbert was small, barely higher than desk height and despite his age he was sprightly. ‘RIGHT.’ He turned and dragging his desk to the blackboard, an old fashioned thing that was on a loop inside a large frame. We watched as our mad French master climbed onto the ledge at the top.
Someone sniggered, then three boys and eventually we were all laughing. Despite the fact his moustache hid his mouth the twitching told us he too was amused. He began to tell us about his time in Normandy during world war two. He always did that when he relaxed.
‘Where is your…? Oh, there you are Mr Gilbert. Dusting perhaps?’
The headmaster, passing our classroom and noting (a) the absence of a teacher and (b) hilarity amongst the pupils had entered to be confronted by the unexpected sight of Mr Gilbert practicing his Buddha impersonation.
‘Yes. Sorry, head. I was, er… The thing is…’
‘Your chalk sir. It got stuck.’
‘Chalk?’
The Head turned from the class to the Master and back, bemused. Mr Gilbert shrugged, sheepishly. The head mirrored him and left.
Slowly Gilbert walked towards my desk. The speaker had been the boy, Colin Budd, who sat next to me. ‘Which of you two miserable wastes of air spoke?’
My neighbour pointed at me so I pointed at him. Mr Gilbert sighed, studying me carefully. ‘Le Pard you are a weasel but no rule breaker. Budd you break more rules than the rest of this class breaks wind. You are no doubt the guilty party. But I cannot prove that. You will BOTH go to the head and explain why you decided to try and make him believe I’m bonkers.’
Colin Budd strode out, happy, no doubt to be avoiding more French. I trailed behind, thinking hard about my behind and the likely outcome of a visit to the head’s study. We waited outside for a lifetime. When called in Budd explained, implicating both of us. The head nodded. Then he asked, ‘Does Mr Gilbert often sit on the blackboard?’
‘Yes sir,’ we both chorused because in truth he did.
‘Poor man. Still suffering from the war I suppose. Always the urge to reach higher ground.’
He sent us on our way.

***

Keith with a prequel, to a sequel which you can find on Esther’s weekly writing challenge!

The Prequel

“Dave; you’re good, but you’re not that good.” I was in a one-on-one meeting with John, Head of Programming. It was our preliminary meeting about the proposed wildlife documentary.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” I replied, getting to my feet to press home the point.

“Sit down, Dave. Your proposal for this documentary is just not on. It’s not going to happen. Not the way you’re asking, anyway. Five camera crews? Five? Really? And how many sound men do you expect?”

“Ten, John. Two for each crew.”

“You can forget that for a start. Listen, Dave. We don’t have an unlimited budget. We all have to work within constraints. Your crew for this job will be two cameramen, two sound men, director, research lead and four support.”

“Ten?” I asked.

“Ten,” he replied.

“I can’t do this justice with only ten crew. You, of all people, should know that.”

“Then I’ll find someone who can.”

Incensed, I leaned forward towards him. “You know there’s no-one can give you the result I can, and no name is as well-known as mine. My name on the credits is enough to push the ratings up by 20%. You said that yourself, when you renewed my contract.”

John stood up and walked away from his desk. Having worked for him for eight years, I had come to expect this, his trademark move. I knew now, that he would wander around the room, hands clasped behind his back, while he delivered a lecture.

“Dave, Dave, Dave. You must be the most naïve man on the planet. I said what I had to for you to sign the contract. Yes, this job is important. Yes, it’s a story that has to be told and yes, you will tell it well. However, if you think that your name and the audience draw that you imagine you have is going to convince the Board to increase the budget for this job by two hundred percent, just to satisfy your ego, you’d better think again. Now bugger off and redraft your proposal with a crew of ten. I want names, jobs and full details of what you need in terms of location accommodation and support equipment, too.”

“Yes, boss,” I said as I got up and left John’s office. I was elated. I got exactly what I wanted. Even after all this time, he hadn’t recognised that by asking him for a great deal more than I need, I had given him loads of room to make his cuts. He was, no doubt, feeling very self-satisfied, having beaten me down yet again.

***

Finally, the lovely Ali, with this heart wrenching tale of new mummy emotions, something a lot of us can relate too:

“This has been going on long enough,” she says, pressing her lips together into a thin hard line of disapproval. “This won’t do at all. You look a mess.” Her eyes rake me over, leaving scars no one can see, but which I continue to feel long after she has gone.

I force a laugh, patting my hair self-consciously. “I’ve just had a baby. Nice clothes and make up aren’t that important to me right now,” I say.

She humphs self-righteously. “Well they should be. You don’t want Mikey’s eye to wander do you?”

I stare at her, aghast. My mouth drops open, but no words come. Fortunately, he wades in to my rescue. Or so I think.

“Come on now, mam. I’m nothing like dad, and you know it.”

She says nothing. She doesn’t have to. She just spears him with her ‘mother’s always right’ gaze and he backs down, just like he has always done, just like everyone has always done, and I realise that I can never win.

***

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