The post 263 Understanding Humour & Writing Funny Fiction with Dave Cohen appeared first on Sacha Black.

In this episode we cover: 

• How to collaborate effectively
• Mistakes to avoid in collaborations
• How to approach writing humour
• The format and structure of a joke
• Different types of humour
• Agents of chaos

This week’s question is: How do you self-sabotage?

Recommendation of the week is: Tinseltown Toils by Jay Renee Lawrence (Patron)

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***this show uses affiliate links

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Pigeon Park Press

Rebel of the Week is: Dharma Kelleher

If you’d like to be a Rebel of the week please do send in your story, it can be any kind of rebellion. You can email your rebel story to rebelauthorpodcast@gmail.com

1 new patron this week, welcome and thank you to Karen Heenan. A big thank you to my existing patrons as well. If you’d like to support the show, and get early access to all the episodes as well as bonus content you can from as little as $2 a month by visiting: www.patreon.com/sachablack

THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY KOBO WRITING LIFE

Visit Kobo Writing Life here, read the Kobo Writing Life blog here, and listen to their podcast here.

The post 139 How to Write Funny with Heide Goody and Iain Grant appeared first on Sacha Black.

Welcome to the fifth in my series of mini tips videos and blogs all about side characters. There are just three days left until the launch of

One of my favorite parts of writing regardless of whether it’s nonfiction craft books or fictional stories is sprinkling humour in. But lots of writers are afraid of writing humour. I think that’s often because writers look at humour as a whole rather than breaking it down. Everyone has a sense of humour, even Mr. Serious-I-Never-Laugh. Humour is just reflected in different shades. That’s the same for your side characters. One fast way of differentiating your characters from each other is to consider adding a flavor of one the many different types of humour:

• Sarcasm
• Dry
• Pun/Dad jokes
• Self-deprecation /empowerment
• Toilet humour
• Dark humour
• Monty Python
• Slapstick —although this is very visual and a little harder in fiction
• Innuendos

If you’re still afraid even when you break it down into specifics, then try allowing your characters to be sharp rather than funny. Sharp wit, responses and comebacks make for a sprinkling of humour in any story.

If you’d like to learn about how to put humour into your side characters then you can by pre-ordering 8 Steps to Side Characters.

Pre-order the textbook here:

https://books2read.com/sidecharacters 

Pre-order the workbook here:

books2read.com/sideworkbook

Want to order signed copies of Side Characters, then use this link:

https://sachablack.co.uk/store 

Submit your pre-order proof here to be in with a chance of winning a bundle of goodies and to get a sneak peek look at the first 25 pages: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSe1IYhFhlu9vBSwell2J2tSwtIdxXMEYp-MVF-cvzixeNu22Q/viewform?usp=sf_link 

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I’ve gone on a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions over this birthday. I think most people do the same when they reach a new decade. So I figured, rather than do a philosophical reflection that’s all deep and meaningful, I’d just shamelessly confess all the dumb shit I’ve done over the last 29 years 11 months and 28 days.

MISTAKE ONE

When playing football indoors, don’t kick the door frame instead of the football cause you’re guna break a toe.

MISTAKE TWO

After an intensive night of drinking Sambuca shots, don’t assume that you’re safe to drive even at midday. You’re not safe. Especially not over road humps. Those humps make you projectile onto your windscreen. Five humps, five projectiles.

MISTAKE THREE

Don’t mistake mouldy cheddar cheese for stilton. Definitely not the same thing.

MISTAKE FOUR

When riding a rev and go scramble motorbike for the first time, it’s vital to know the difference between ‘accelerator’ and using the brake. Especially if you’re about to ride past a big ass mound of mud. Using the accelerator will cause you to ride over the mound and do some aerial acrobatics you really weren’t expecting.

MISTAKE FIVE

Don’t step backwards in a tree house unless you’ve checked the trap door is shut. Stepping back without checking leads you to fall out, scrapping several layers of skin off your ribs, and a rather peculiar monkey impression half hanging to the trap door and half hanging on to a branch.

MISTAKE SIX

When taking friends in your first car (a mini) remember it’s not a Range Rover, but a tiny car. Seven people do not fit into a mini. Seven people should also not be driven over speed bumps while in a mini. The resultant sparks from the rear of the car is your exhaust hanging off.

MISTAKE SEVEN

Learn the roads routes around your home. Because after 10 years of living in one area getting lost on a journey you’ve taken 3498589344528943789 times is frankly embarrassing.

MISTAKE EIGHT

If you’re allergic to milk, make sure you triple check the Starbucks barista is putting coconut milk in your coffee. Otherwise, ensure private toilets are in close proximity.

MISTAKE NINE

N.B. Jumping in driver side window of a moving car is dangerous.

MISTAKE TEN

When approaching the deadline for your university dissertation, ensure you haven’t partied all year and have actually done some work. Because turning up on Monday morning for your final tutor session, after having pulled an all-nighter and sheepishly handing over your dissertation will get you the following response: “I suggest you go get a coffee because you’re not handing this shit in.”

It will also result in a university sweepstake being set up with bets placed on how long you can stay awake and not leave the library for. To this day, I still hold the record for 52 hours straight. Got a First though! Muhahaha.

MISTAKE ELEVEN

MISTAKE TWELVE

When inviting your new colleagues out on a ‘let’s get to know you night.’ They don’t need to get to know you’re flesh. So don’t flash your naked ass cheeks at them. Monday is awkward.

MISTAKE THIRTEEN

Walk around with an extremely sore toe all day. When your wife suggests you pull the toe because it might be dislocated, don’t then pull the toe. ‘Re-locating’ you’re own toe is fucking painful.

MISTAKE FIFTEEN

If you have olive skin and dark brown hair. Bleaching it really isn’t sensible, cool or stylish. You’ll look like Spongebob Square Pants.

MISTAKE SIXTEEN 

Going out in see-through lacey tank tops – not cool. Ever. (and no, I am not sharing the photographic evidence of this one) Pervs.

MISTAKE SEVENTEEN – this one is for Geoff’s benefit.

MISTAKE EIGHTEEN

Don’t go on holiday to Italy with one of your besties, and have too many oranges juices:

You sleep on kitchen tiles…. and throw up in the middle of an Italian food shop. Apparently Italian’s don’t like lettuce with their vomit.

MISTAKE NINETEEN

Overachieve on your mid-life crisis, and have your existential at 25. The result is YEARS of pain, sacrifice and nights burrowed away behind a screen. Okay, I lied. Writing is awesome. This one wasn’t a mistake.

MISTAKE TWENTY

Don’t come out of the closet at 16, only to dive back in at eighteen and have to come out all over again at twenty-one. It’s just inefficient.

MISTAKE TWENTY-TWO

While in labour, remember that the gas and air is not for sale. So don’t repeatedly ask to buy it, or threaten to steal it while the midwife isn’t looking.

MISTAKE TWENTY-THREE  

Don’t smash your BRAND new glasses on your car door. It’s expensive.

MISTAKE TWENTY-FOUR

Smash a glass, drop the base on your toe and then wonder around the kitchen waving your toe (which is now pissing blood) everywhere. Applying pressure is much more useful.

MISTAKE TWENTY-FIVE

When getting off a plane after extreme turbulence due to severe wind. Take the wind direction into account when strategically aiming your vomit. Otherwise, you puke up the back of people’s trousers.

MISTAKE TWENTY-SIX AND TWENTY-SEVEN

While sober, don’t assume people are drunk, grip railings and dance like a lunatic – people think you’re on drugs instead of water.

Don’t willingly enter a mosh pit – ribs usually get broken.

TWENTY-EIGHT

When taking the best man to a wedding abroad. Ensure you’ve checked the tickets for the airport information. Turning up to the wrong airport and you’re screwed.

TWENTY-NINE

When sleeping outside under the stars. Remember that if you sleep on a hill, you’re liable to roll…into the river at the bottom of the hill.

MISTAKE THIRTY

When pulling dumb faces, ensure that no sly fuckers have cameras.

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You can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Goodreads

The post 30 Mistakes to Avoid Before You’re 30 #MondayBlogs appeared first on Sacha Black.

If you fancy a proper giggle, you have to read this. So without further ado, over to Sarah.

People make weird comments to writers. It’s like we’re this second class of humans that should be caged and only occasionally fed on schmancy words and diet royalties. I’ve selected the best (or most abhorrent) questions I’ve been asked by non-writers. (By the way, shouldn’t we develop a proper name for non-writer folk? Like Muggles, but less magicky and more writerly? I’m going to work on that!)

The 5 Most Obnoxious Questions People Ask Writers

1) Can I get your book for free? 

What we want to say: If by FREE you mean you will trade paper or plastic money for one of my books, then YES. Because it turns out this nice slim volume actually cost me time, money, and more emotional damage than you can probably comprehend. So just pony up the cash already!

What we actually say: I’ll be holding a giveaway on such-and-such a date! Follow me online for details! Also, my books are available in eBook for (whatever the price is)! And I’m running such-and-such a deal RIGHT NOW!

Moral: It turns out writers need to be salesmen. I didn’t see that coming when I penned my first novel.

2) I’m writing an awesome book! Mind if I send it to you?

What we want to say: Um, that’s really kind of you to offer me your crappy novel, but it turns out my time is at a premium. When I swap favors with other writers and/or readers, I sacrifice some of my writing time to help them and they do the same for me. I only do that for people I really really like. So, sorry, but no. I don’t actually like you that much. Also, your book is probably crap.

What we actually say: I have a wonderful editor friend who would love to take a look at your novel! Her prices are very affordable and she’s excellent at helping young writers move through the editing process. Let me give you her contact information . . .

Moral: If you send newbies to an editor, they’ll stop bugging you. Either because they’re ready to move forward or basically they can’t afford an editor. Basically win-win!

3) Do you think you’ll ever write something original?

What we want to say: Well, Sweet Pea, it turns out NOTHING is original. We’re all influenced by the environment around us. Take those leggings you’re wearing as pants, Honey. You think that’s original? Nope. Some psycho thought, “Here’s a way to make plumpy girls look plumpier! Stretch a loud pattern right across their . . .” Whatever. Nothing is actually original. So, do you wanna buy my book or not?

What we actually say: I’m working on several story ideas at present. Stay tuned! There’s sure to be something you will love!

Moral: Biting your tongue is something writers learn to do early on. Because we’d like to sell books! Also it’s much more satisfying to murder them in fiction later.

4) I have this great idea for a novel! How about if you help me write it?

What we want to say: If you can get the voices in my head to shut up long enough to listen to the voices in your head, then go right ahead. But you can’t. So don’t even try. They basically run my life at this point. I’m like a glorified schizophrenic. Incidentally, do you wanna hear about the 17 plots playing out in my mind right now?

What we actually say: I always enjoy connecting with other writers and readers! Feel free to connect with me online!

Moral: We keep the crazy under wraps, because non-writerly folk do not understand. They’ll just tell us we need therapy, medication, or a new hobby. (Do your best not to grind your teeth when they mention that last one.)

5) Why don’t you quit writing? It seems really stressful.

What we want to say: Ohmigosh I wish it was that simple! But an entire cast of characters have taken up residence in my brain. And they are all clamoring for attention. Also, it turns out I like writing! I know, SHOCKER! Would you stop doing something that makes you feel amazing just because the process gets a little difficult? And, you know they pay me for it right? Even if it’s only enough to get the occasional pedicure, I’d rather give YOU up than my writing career. So go. Now. Unless you want to pay for my next pedicure.

What we actually say: It’s true that it sucks at times, but it’s amazing to create new worlds and change the way readers think. That’s worth all the trauma that writing, publishing, and promotion can bring to my life.

Moral: It’s important to know why you want to be a writer. Not only will it keep you firmly on the path but you will have to rationalize your decisions to idiots.

Bonus Bonehead Statement:

6) I’m writing this epic series of books, but I don’t read books.

What we want to say: DUH. What is wrong with you? How will you have any idea what people will want to read if you don’t pick up a book? Do you think they all just want to live in your fancy fairy world for funsies? Maybe you should pick up a book that has actually been published. Just to see what kids are actually reading these days.

What we actually say: [Sorry. There’s no script for this one, friends. If a dude pulls this out on your first date—ahem, yes that happened—just smile and nod and change the subject as quickly as possible. Also make a mental note to never look for his books on bookshelves. Because they either won’t be there or they’ll be sporting a cover across between Harlequin’s ripped bodices and Dungeons and Dragons.]

Moral: There is no cure for stupidity. But you can always humor idiots. Or at least smile and be pleasant so they will buy your book

Dear friends:

Should you choose the writer life, obnoxious comments are sure to come your way. Just remember to smile, nod, and leave a good impression. (Later on you can blog about it or add it to one of your novels.) At the end of the day, it’s all about selling books and reaching new readers!

XOXO

Sarah

About the Author:

Sarah E. Boucher is a lover of fairy stories, romance, anything BBC and Marvel, and really, really cute shoes. On weekdays she wears respectable shoes and serves as Miss B., the Queen of Kindergarten. On school holidays she writes stories about romance and adventure. And wears impractical super cute shoes.

Sarah is a graduate of Brigham Young University. She lives and works in northern Utah. Midnight Sisters is her second novel. Visit Sarah at SarahEBoucher.com or connect with her on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Amazon, or Goodreads.

Blurb for Midnight Sisters:

Do not meddle with the Master’s daughters.

The words rattled around Jonas’s head. What was the punishment again? Death? Dismemberment? Jonas, the newest addition to the gardening staff, couldn’t recall the exact penalty for breaking the rule. What does it matter anyway? He would never dream of meddling with the Earl of Bromhurst’s haughty daughters.

Until he comes face to face with Lady Ariela, the eldest of the Master’s daughters.

Her elusive smile and open manner cause him to question his convictions. In no time, he’s drawn into Lady Ariela’s world of mystery and intrigue, a world where she and her sisters will do anything—including leaving twelve empty beds at midnight—to escape their father’s strict rules.

Only Jonas can uncover the truth and save them from their father’s wrath and their own folly, if he is willing to risk everything he’s ever worked for.

Book links:

Midnight sisters is available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle editions.

Becoming Beauty, a retelling of Beauty and the Beast. Find Becoming Beauty on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, books & things, iTunes, and Goodreads.

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I have heaps of comments to approve or reply to, a bunch of personal emails that need tending to and my usual boat load of pre-scheduled posts is in a deficit, so sozberries, right now I’m drowning!

So I thought I would bring you baby black terror tot extraordinaire with his latest lessons in parent training…

Behold, people of the intersquibbles, children, child prodigies, over achievers and toddler villain apprentices, it is I, baby blackas a.k.a terror tot.

I’ve been busy teaching mummy and mama ALL about how potty training really ought to go. So here are my training notes, (I may or may not have tried any or all of these):

ONE

When parents throw the P word out there, immediately throw oneself across the floor. Shout “NO” and roll around throwing limbs randomly about the air.

TWO

Ensure that the first two attempts at potty training fail. This is easily achievable by throwing the potty across the room and screaming at excessively high decibels and full lung capacity.

n.b. Bend and place hands on knees and take a deep breath to ensure oxygen reaches the bottom of the lungs for extra volume.

THREE

When the potty is brought out on the third occasion, smile sweetly and say “I do a poo in da potty”

This lulls parents into a false sense of security.

DO NOT DO A POO IN THE POTTY. EVER.

FOUR

Refuse adamantly to sit on the potty: biting, punching, kicking and crocodile tears are all valid and most excellent distraction techniques.

FIVE

Snatch any bribe proffered and launch at precious items such as TV’s, Nespresso coffee makers and walls (walls are a good one, they stain).

Refuse ALL bribes until such times as you break your parents and they give in to you, producing the glorious heaven juice that is glucose high inducing E numbery goodness.

SIX

Once sugary goodness has been provided, ensure you do wee in the potty. They are idiots and this will only serve to reinforce to your parents that sugary lumps of joy are the only effective method of training us.

SEVEN

When it comes time for bed and your crown jewels have been dangling loose all day your parents will attempt to replace a nappy on you. They are delusional. Revolt at all costs. FREE THE CROWN JEWELS. REFUSE THE NAPPY.

Run. Run like free Willy swam for the ocean. Escape is the only option.

EIGHT

As punishment for replacing the nappy, keep the poo plug in place until such times as you are placed in bed, kissed and left to sleep. Then its full steam ahead, charge on the poo battle field and shit for England my friends. Take your favourite story book for reading consumption during excretion cycle and poo like you’ve never pooed before.

n.b. stick your hands down any and all soiled nappies. Smear hands EVERYWHERE. Including: bedding, walls and body parts.

NINE

Parents think once you have wee’d in the potty a few times it’s safe to leave the house. It is not. Ensure parents put shorts on you. This is important. They will also place pants on you. Hold the pee for as long as toddler bladder allows. Wait until they have locked the front door. Then as they turn around ready to leave begin urination. Urinating in your shorts results in urinating in your shoes.

TEN

When parents aren’t looking, hold crown jewels and urinate in secret places, such as: the side of the sofa, behind the door or curtain, next to the bin in the kitchen. The most effective places to tinkle are fabrics such as clothes drawers, wardrobes and cushions.

ELEVEN

Last but by no means least potty training gives a prime opportunity to stay up late. Wait until nappy has been replaced and pyjamas put on. Hold out until cuddles have been given, stories read and teeth cleaned. As your parents reach the door and tell you they love you and say night night, shout at full volume “I need a wee wee.”

The post Parenting Lessons from the Terror Tot – Potty Training 101 appeared first on Sacha Black.

It got me thinking about just how similar being a parent is to being a writer. Here’s why:

ONE

I love my son unconditionally – even when he’s been naughty.

I love my WIP unconditionally – even when it’s been naughty and won’t finish a scene or keeps changing things

TWO

My son is extremely unpredictable – apparently he already has a mind of his own

My WIP is extremely unpredictable – it is prone to change its mind suddenly, adding an unexpected twist or killing off an entire character mid scene

THREE

My son drives me to insanity – when he doesn’t know the right words to tell me whats wrong

My WIP drives me to insanity – constantly when it halts suddenly in the middle of a scene and refuses to tell me how it ends and all I can do is sit and wait patiently until it decides to play ball

FOUR

My son exhausts me – keeping me up in the middle of the night

My WIP exhausts me – keeping me up in the middle of the night either writing it, or waking me up having thought of ideas

FIVE

I am extremely proud of my son – every time he does something new or smiles, or breathes for that matter!

I am extremely proud of my WIP – writing novels is hard work, and I am really proud to say that I amongst my crazy life I still find time to write actual novels

SIX

My son costs a shit load of money!

My WIP costs a shit load of money – I buy software and dozens of ‘how to write books’ thinking it will help me write better, not to mention the obsessive notebook collection I have going or the expensive research field trips!

SEVEN

My son makes me repeat myself constantly – ‘eat with your mouth closed, it’s YES not yeah, don’t pull the cats ear…’

My WIP makes me repeat myself constantly – remember those pesky crutch words I spoke about? in the secret to the quickest edit you can do? There are just some words that I can’t help but repeat!

EIGHT

My son makes me shout at him – when he’s been very very naughty like when I picked him up from the childminder the other day and he bonked another kid on the head and then tried to bite his leg!

My WIP makes me shout at it – in frustration when it won’t play ball or it made me write something silly AGAIN, or tricked me and made me rewrite a chapter for the 5th time.

NINE

My son needs a lot of attention – he needs love, and kindness and story time.

My WIP needs a lot of attention – spent tapping away mindlessly at the keyboard, or hours researching or editing.

TEN

My son is a cause for celebration – the first time he walked, his first word… hopefully his first poo on a potty!

My WIP is a cause for celebration – and toasting the end of the first draft – the end of the first edit… hopefully one day…publication?!

If you’re a parent – how does your WIP compare to parenthood? Or if you’re not a parent – what does your WIP do to you?

This marks the last day of NaNo – if you participated – did you win? Was your target 50K? 

Next week, because NaNo is over I’m back to normal posts deconstructing the writing process see you then

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