It’s been a month since I published a Writespiration. Slack I know. But what could I do, I had to finish my book! Anyway, it’s back now…
So, I’m a kid at heart. Ok, a teen. Whatevs. The reason I’m telling you, is cause I was at mumzy’s the other day and I found a super cool kaleidoscope. Obviously it was farrrr to dangerous for baby black to play with… *cough* so I kept it safe for him instead!
It resulted in some what I think are awesome photos (click in the post for a slide show) and the inspiration for today’s post.
Write about a Kaleidoscope – maybe its a kaleidoscopic fantasy world, or a memory, a maze or perhaps a toy. Let your mind wander and see where it takes you. Entries short this week – under 100 words, deadline 9th October. Post entries in the comments or use a pingback. (more…)
If I continue my night owl tactics and don’t… you know, die of exhaustion first, then next year I will be launching not one, but six books. That’s the aim anyway. Much as it’s traumatised me not to publish sooner, I’ve been sitting on these books for a reason.
It terrifies me to say it, but 2017 will see me publish actual, word filled, hold in your hands books, and hopefully, a few of them.
But any author worth their salt, knows they can’t and shouldn’t be launching alone. Visibility is the one thing that connects indies to new traditionally published authors. I say it all the time, but Amazon, is a rainforest of books. Getting seen in any part of it is difficult.
We might day dream about coffee shops and alone time to ink our hyperbolae in peace, but getting a book from chapter one to finished product isn’t a one man job. While the writing might be, there are beta readers, cover designers, formatters, editors and reviewers that help with the rest. If writing a book isn’t a one man job, why should launching one be?
Mastering a book launch isn’t really about the big day, it, like anything you anticipate for a while, is a bit of an anticlimax. Besides, if you want sustained sales, then don’t focus on the launch. Focus on the lifetime of a book. It’s not about its first day, or week, or even its first year. It’s about optimising that book as an asset, it’s a product you can earn from again and again and again, so why worry about getting sales in it’s first week. You want to be worrying about getting them for the next ten thousand weeks.
Launches are about
driving yourself crazy and into a six foot deep grave through stress sustained activities over long periods, garnering stacks of reviews, running competitions, paying it forward for other authors, teaming up or compelling your own boxsets and unfortunately, paying for advertising.
I’ve been doing a chuff load of research on marketing and book launches, so today, we’re talking street teams, and for anyone willing, there’s a personal request from me, to you, to join my street team.
So I did it. I tweaked my final comma, dotted my final I and after writing an email that gave me hives, I pressed send and off went my bookbaby to five
terrifying awesome beta readers.
I sat for a while. Motionless. Except for the rapid blink of my eyelids at the completely blank screen. There were no more words needed. What in the fucksticks was I meant to do now? Then the realisation slowly crept in… I HAD NO BOOK. IT WAS GONE. LIKE REALLY GONE. The book that had consumed me for nearly two years, was no more. Holy mother of almighty fuck.
Wana know what happened next…?
I freaked the fudgebuggins out, thats what. It took exactly 4.3 milliseconds before I combusted in a violent meltdown. I really regretted sending it. HOW COULD I SEND IT OUT TO REAL PEOPLE…Obviously its a pile of shite. A fact of which, even the halo holding hand of god couldn’t dissuade me of.
And to my utter fucking horror, I realised there is no ‘unsend’ button. What self serving artificially intelligent email company DOESN’T HAVE A RECALL BUTTON???
FUCK. Like fucking fuck. With six side orders of FUCK MY ACTUAL FUCKING LIFE.
I spent the next 12 hours listing eleventy hundred things that were wrong with my novel. The list included everything. EVERYTHING. Not just main characters, arcs and endings. Oh no. I attacked the detail too, no comma, speech mark or paragraph spacing was left unscathed.
I made the mistake of voicing these concerns to some
bastards wonderful friends who told me to pull my shit together before they sent a BitchSlapOGram to my front door. I listened. Just. And only after several more hours of wallowing in a seriously impressive vat of self loathing and book related hatred.
Okay. I’m done. Moving on.
With continued interruption to the schedule, today, I want to debate. I want to know what you think about the future of publishing. Of course, I have brought together some interesting facts and articles and some points of note. So I hope you bought your most opinionated self cause I’m interested in what you got to say. Without further ado…
Let’s talk the future of publishing.
We readers are fickle beasts.
If you have a shit book cover we won’t pick up your novel. Sloppy blurb and we chuck the book on the NBR (Never Be Read) pile. If we get past all that and find forgettable characters buried in your pages, well… fuck you author, here’s a one star review.
A couple of weeks ago, I was lording it up in Paris with the girls for a cocktail fuelled weekend… I still have a hangover!
The thing is, I wouldn’t be a writer if I didn’t take advantage of any and every opportunity to spew some more of my hyperbolae into the world, and Paris has provided me the perfect opportunity to do just that.
I have a terrible memory. Like ,really bad. But my substandard brain cells got me thinking about books and specifically, about characters.
Without memorable characters, your book is worthless. Why?
Because books are written about characters. If your characters are boring, your books boring. But how do you make them memorable without turning them into the equivalent of a glitter covered literary drag queen? (more…)
Today is the last instalment from my lovely friends, who have been keeping my blog stocked with juicy tidbits in order to give me time to finish my book. A huge thank you to everyone who helped out, without you, I wouldn’t have had time to finish it
You can check out the other posts here:
But today, I welcome the lovely Helen Jones, to talk about book covers. I recently talked about mastering your genre’s book cover. But Helen goes into a tone of useful things you need to consider, that I hadn’t even thought of. So her post was super useful for me this week, because I just sent off my cover design brief! *squeal*. Without further ado…. Helen…
Last week I confessed all kind of Pantser secrets. Like the fact I’m a filthy dirty cheating hybrid and I actually sit somewhere in the middle of the plotter-pantser hot tub party.
One of the biggest differences between plotters and pantsers is whether or not they outline. In last week’s post, I talked through the first three of twelve outlining methods, including:
- Chapter Outlines
- 7 Point Plot Plan
- 3 Point Plot Plan
Today I am going to run through the rest of them. (more…)
Writers have a shit load of decisions to make:
Who to kill today, knife em or hang em, daily word count totals, book prices, whether to drown your book blurbing sorrows with vodka or wine… the list goes on.
But one of the biggest of all decisions of all is whether you’re going to run the rat race to traditional publishing, or push the shiny red button yourself and claim the indie badge.
I made my decision. My blood runs thick with indie colours.
Publishers have their place, I’ll never see my books in a store *weeps* but that sure as shit ain’t enough of a reason for me to go begging book in hand to their doorstep.
Maybe there will come a time when I might need them and I’ll wander up tail between my word covered thighs. But I haven’t slaved over my book for two sodding years, only to be told what cover I’m having, or when I can market or change the price or a myriad other things that would piss me off and I certainly ain’t accepting the 79p pittance for a book sale.
When this goes live, I’ll be in Paris, so your comments might be delayed in appearing.
Today’s lovely guest is the gorgeous and totally glam, Debby. Someone who has become a dear friend to me through the blogging world and one I truly hope to meet her.
Debby is a self-published author who has taught me more than a thing or two over the time I’ve known her. Today she’s giving us top tips on self-publishing.
If you cut my wrist, I’d bleed pantser all over you. Which, for anyone that knows me in real life, is about as ironic as you can get. I’m hyper organised. I have lists of lists and spreadsheets to make even the hardiest of geeks weep. I’m so extreme my wife has to schedule in time for spontaneity.
Which is why, when I first started writing, I knew without hesitation I was a plotter. Except that I really wasn’t. I tried to plot my way through to finishing a novel and I couldn’t.
Plotting led to me drowning myself in cliches: balled up scraps of paper littered my living room, my laptop screen lay barer than the sahara and enough empty coffee cups loitered on my table to waken even the most exhausted mother. I was blocked.
In the end I threw my rigid-frigid-plotting rule book in the fuck it bucket and NaNo’d the shit out of November 2014. Victory was mine. I finished off the manuscript triumphant. I was a fucking writer at last. The arrogance did not last. After a 3 month break I picked up the manuscript and nearly paper machè myself a coffin out of it. It was worse than finding a maggot in your apple.
Right there. That was the moment I knew then I had to find a way to prevent myself from ever having to re-write anything again.
So I have amassed X different methods to outlining and made suggestions as to how you can use them as a pantser. A few too many for one post – so as is becoming a habit lately, I’ve split them over more than one post. (more…)
As you know I am busy trying to finish my book ready for beta readers at the end of September. So my lovely writer friend Lucy, is taking the reigns today to teach us all about how to start a podcast.
When you write the end of a chapter, you want readers to be desperate to turn the page and read on irrespective of the fact its 3:41AM and they have work the next day.
You want your book to be the cause of their bleary eyed appearance as they clutch the work coffee machine and growl at any one who comes near.
But what is it about a chapter ending that makes someone read on, rather than put it down and go to snoozeyland?
Here are nine tactics you can use to grip a reader and tickle their temptation soft spot to read on. (more…)