Tag Archives: mentor

Lesson 101 in how to demotivate someone

You can squash me,

You can beat me,

You can push me down,

But I will get up,

I will try again,

And I won’t give up,

One day when your tired,

When your broken,

And when you quit

I will triumph, I will stand proud, and I will win.

Sacha Black

****

What a ridiculous week.

I have never met a bunch of more miserable, bubble bursting, negative  people in my life. I know were in a recession but seriously, theres no need to make me miserable just because you are!

I met a senior manager recently who told me that I wouldn’t have a job in a few years time, that there wouldn’t be any money for managers or project managers like me. That we were facing hard times and more cuts were coming, they continued…

“realistically I ought to find a ‘proper profession'”

Thing is it was meant to be a motivating statement because they were trying to poach me into their department. Probably is, once I heard that they thought I wouldn’t have a career etc etc I kinda switched off.

Then a few days later I met my new mentor.

WELL.

They asked me what my biggest challenges were at the moment. I said that in my previous job I was really passionate and enjoyed living to work. Whilst I understood that there was a balance to be had and that it wouldn’t always be like that, I wanted to still be passionate about what I was doing, and that I was struggling to find a niche in the job I am doing at the moment to be passionate about.

My mentor kindly told me that I needed a reality check because most people work to live and that I should probably get used to it.

I was utterly shocked that for someone who is supposed to mentor, coach and motivate someone that they could be so negative and pessimistic. I am not naive I know most people work to live, but for goodness sake you don’t have too.

Only you have control over your life and the direction you choose to take. People choose to stay in jobs they hate for a variety of reasons, but I am sorry that’s your choice. If you were really miserable then only you can make the change you need too, to do what makes you happy. I think it’s utter bollocks that I should expect to not be passionate about my job and expect to work to live. Bollocks.