Two days time I will be 20 weeks. but thought it was high time I uploaded a bump shot!!
kind of a weird shape no?!
I had my 16 week midwife appointment last week. It was wicked, I got to hear the heartbeat – and in fact I recorded it on my phone, and I am hoping that this works:
Hopefully that is an audio player that will play the heart beat! If so – enjoy 🙂
The appointment went swimmingly – all apart from the horrendous fact that – my midwife’s HOT… like really hot! I am going to be so so embarrassed when she comes to check on us the day after the babies born and she has to show me the ins and outs of breast feeding! or worst… has to check I’m ‘healing’ I am going to die!! lol. It really is going to be one of those “awkward moments when…”
Of course the wife found this all hilarious -and is now going book leave just to come to the next appointment so she can judge my taste!! haha.
With a little over 5 weeks until the big day, (wedding day) I thought you might like to hear how I met my future wife
In true Sacha style, not only was my proposal unique (that’s a story for another day), so was the way I met my beautiful partner.
As if fate had always intended, not only did I live on the same street as my future girlfriend, we had mutual friends, and I worked in the pub she drank in.
I must have served her a million times before we met, and for some reason we had never noticed each other.
That’s a good thing because we were both in relationships.
About three and a half years ago on exactly the same day, fate struck again. We both became single, under different circumstances but it happened on exactly the same day. Both having been in substantial relationships neither of us were particularly fussed about meeting someone.
Exactly six days later….
I was at work, had been in the kitchen of my student bar so stank of chip fat and grease, but a mutual friend of ours persuaded me to grab my spare t shirt and head to the club. So off I went with my stinky work combat pants and spare t shirt, no make up and no hair done, generally looking a state, and slide up to the bar to cue for a pint. At this point my future girlfriend apparently spotted me with our mutual friend at the bar (I was oblivious at this point) so she decided to grab my attention.
She trotted up to the bar and barged passed me shunting me to the side as she whispered in our mutual friends ear. Furious I turned round ready to scruff this random rude girl up. I looked at her, and melted instantly. She was genuinely the most beautiful women I had ever seen. I felt sick with butterflies.
She went back to wherever she came from and I grabbed our mutual friend gasping “who’s your friend? Tell me she’s gay and tell me she’s single??”
The mutual friend groaned and said she is, but only recently I wouldn’t go there if I were you.
I was hook line and sinker for this gorgeous women.
I made our mutual friend introduce me, and we stood chatting, I was barely able to make conversation I was so hideously full of butterflies and adrenaline.
There was at this point another girl, who was obsessively chasing me and I had absolutely no interest in her. I told the future girlfriend this and she said, bold as brass in front of me “well why don’t you let me kiss you in front of her, and she might go away…?” she said grinning at me with her cute white teeth and mesmerising smile.
I about threw up there and then, and felt my legs want to give way. I giggled completely unable to utter a response, and wished beyond anything that she would just kiss me, and ravish me right there in the club. I wanted her. BAD.
We spent the rest of the night chatting and talking, she had me wrapped around her little finger instantly, and I was captivated by every syllable she said. Four of us went back to my house for a while and then we walked everyone back down our road a few houses and into her house. We chatted until the early hours of the morning. It must have been about 4 or 5am and I started to shiver her house was not the warmest, so she went to get me a duvet. The four of us carried on chatting and I sat on the sofa next to her as she laid the duvet over us. Our mutual friend sat on the other side.
Whilst we carried on chatting she put her hands under the duvet, and edged it closer to mine. I could feel the warmth from her hand getting closer to mine and it made my stomach churn.
Our little fingers connected, and I could feel the electricity between us. We held hands under the duvet till the light came up. I said good night we her number in my phone, and walked home with a grin I couldn’t remove.
We spoke all week and met up a few days later. A week after we met, on my birthday, all our friend were out, it was a london underground party and I was dressed as ‘Angel’ a slower song was being played by the Dj and we sidled up to each other dancing slowly arms locked around her neck. She looked into my eyes and her soft lips touched mine. It was the most delicious kiss I have ever had, and all our friends cheered whilst they danced around us!
That was three and a half years ago. Now, in 5 weeks time, she will be my wife.
I will tell you how she proposed next time!
NOTE: This is not actually us!!
‘Memoirs of Sacha Black’ is a month old today… So I thought why not write something a lil’ different in celebration…
Looking back at your childhood, don’t you think that there should have been more ‘Real’ fairy tales??
Well I found this picture earlier today, and just had to write something!!
This is the kind of fairy tale I wanted as a kid….
Once upon a time, lived the most beautiful girl in the whole world, some even said she was princess.
She had hair, dark as the night; chopped short like a pixie. Her ice blue eyes made every man, women and child melt before her.
She was powerful too, independent and full of courage. She had her own castle, and her own land, that she ruled all by herself, with the love and respect of her people.
But she was sad, there was something missing from her life. She was unloved, and couldn’t find her prince charming.
But it wasn’t for lack of trying. She had travelled many lands and crossed many terrains looking for her prince charming, but found no one.
One day a nasty witch who’s heart was blackened and broken from bitterness, decided that she didn’t want the princess to be more successful than her. she was jealous, and hated that she was loved by so many people. She enjoyed the fact that she couldn’t find her prince charming.
She wanted to be powerful like her. Unfortunately for the witch, she didn’t think to ask the beautiful princess for help. She was so kind that she would have taught her how to be powerful like her.
But the nasty witch never asked the princess for help, and so grew more jealous and more spiteful.
When her heart had finally crystallised into a black lump of coal he took up her wand and stood for a week, day by day, night by night, by his metal cauldron, brewing, stirring and mixing.
She threw in to his battered cauldron:
frogs legs, spiders eyes, dragons breath, rats tails, and eye of newt.
After a week, her potion was almost finished. She just needed one final ingredient. A heart. She sacrificed her loyal cow who had given her milk for a decade, and took the dripping heart to the cauldron, and stood over the bubbling potion; holding her wand she began to whisper
‘O princess, beauty of our land,
may your sadness last a lifetime,
take from me my blackened heart and sleep.
Sleep until your fictitious prince charming can awaken you.
Only the kiss of true love, will wake you once more.’
and with that she cackled viciously and stabbed the heart with her wand tossing it into the pot.
The cauldron exploded in a firework of light and purple mist. It launched the witch back and she fell to the cobbled ground.
Angry, she gathered her robes trudged back to the pot and scooped up some of the potion. Using her wand she coated an apple with the liquid, and pushed some into the apple core and sealed it with magic.
She picked up her broomstick and flew out into the night. The air was cold and flushed her cheeks, making her look old and haggard.
Eventually, she reached the castles village. It was morning and she was exhausted. She walked through the village looking for the princess knowing that she was kind and spent time giving money and food to her people.
She walked through an archway into a big open square and found the princess giving out bread, fish and wine.
The witch stood in the cue and when it was her turn she took the bread, fish and wine and offered the princess the apple in return. She said
“oh kind old witch, I surely wouldn’t take your apple, when you have nothing, and I have plenty.”
“I insist beautiful princess, you have such a kind heart, I offer you my last apple in thanks” The witch replied.
“Well thank you” the princess said, and reached for the apple taking it in her soft hand and biting a chunk from its centre.
She chewed a moment, and then her ice blue eyes widened in horror as she felt her heart crack and crumble and blacken.
With a last fearful look at the witch her knees collapsed and she dropped to the fall fast asleep.
The princess slept for a lifetime, the witch would visit her often, and watch the princes come from lands afar to try and wake her. But none of them could. Her people lost hope, and the village and castle fell into disrepair.
One day, an unusual girl heard the story of the beautiful princess and was shocked that she was still asleep, and that no one had managed to awaken her. Some say that the unusual girl was also princess, although she was a very strange princess who always wore jeans, instead of the dresses young girls were expected to wear. She had shaggy brown hair, and dark brooding eyes. And her right arm was covered in funny pictures, inked all the way up to her shoulder.
The unusual girl decided that she wanted to see the princess for herself. So she travelled across land, and sea for 5 weeks before she could find the beautiful princesses castle. When she got there, the village people scorned her because she was different, and they refused to give her food or shelter.
So the unusual girl carried on walking until she got to the castle. She opened the big oak gates and walked through the court yard and up into the tower where the princess laid.
The unusual girl was tired, she had travelled for so long and hadn’t eaten or drunk anything in the last day. Looking at the tower stairs she felt weary but something compelled her to carry on.
When she finally entered the room where the princess slept she was overwhelmed by her beauty.
The unusual girl ran straight to the princesses bed, and took her soft hand into hers, she didn’t understand why she was doing this, but she felt the need to be close to her. After staring at her for some time, she decided that she truly was the most beautiful women in the world, she had the most perfect lips, and her beauty gave her butterflies in her tummy.
Without realising it, the unusual girl had lent down and her face was almost touching the beautiful princesses. She wanted to kiss her. To feel her soft pink lips on hers.
So she did. She touched her lips to the beautiful princesses and as she pulled away the princess awoke, and kissed her back.
When the princess opened her eyes, she gasped at the sight of the unusual girl in front of her.
“But your, your a princess, not a prince.” The confused beautiful princess whispered, shocked.
“I am, BUT, I am your ‘princess charming.'” she said smiling back at the her.
The beautiful princess realised in that moment, that she had never found her prince charming because she wasn’t really looking for a prince, but for a princess.
This princess was her one true love, and her saviour.
The beautiful princess felt warm and happy inside, she was now complete, and they lived happily ever after.
You can squash me,
You can beat me,
You can push me down,
But I will get up,
I will try again,
And I won’t give up,
One day when your tired,
When your broken,
And when you quit
I will triumph, I will stand proud, and I will win.
What a ridiculous week.
I have never met a bunch of more miserable, bubble bursting, negative people in my life. I know were in a recession but seriously, theres no need to make me miserable just because you are!
I met a senior manager recently who told me that I wouldn’t have a job in a few years time, that there wouldn’t be any money for managers or project managers like me. That we were facing hard times and more cuts were coming, they continued…
“realistically I ought to find a ‘proper profession'”
Thing is it was meant to be a motivating statement because they were trying to poach me into their department. Probably is, once I heard that they thought I wouldn’t have a career etc etc I kinda switched off.
Then a few days later I met my new mentor.
They asked me what my biggest challenges were at the moment. I said that in my previous job I was really passionate and enjoyed living to work. Whilst I understood that there was a balance to be had and that it wouldn’t always be like that, I wanted to still be passionate about what I was doing, and that I was struggling to find a niche in the job I am doing at the moment to be passionate about.
My mentor kindly told me that I needed a reality check because most people work to live and that I should probably get used to it.
I was utterly shocked that for someone who is supposed to mentor, coach and motivate someone that they could be so negative and pessimistic. I am not naive I know most people work to live, but for goodness sake you don’t have too.
Only you have control over your life and the direction you choose to take. People choose to stay in jobs they hate for a variety of reasons, but I am sorry that’s your choice. If you were really miserable then only you can make the change you need too, to do what makes you happy. I think it’s utter bollocks that I should expect to not be passionate about my job and expect to work to live. Bollocks.
Today, I am boshing out my angry lesbian.
We have established that I hate vague rambling discussions and or instructions, and these nearly made it onto my list of pet hates.
However, I still only have three official pet hates, (official because I have an endless ever growing list of things that annoy me, but three that will instantly piss me off)
I hate being patronized. It makes me arrogant and angry and ultimately turns me into the antichrist!
Don’t patronize me because
a) I am probably more intelligence than you
b) I can definitely do whatever it is that were doing better than you
So this new person has taken over the HR for the scheme that I am on. Supposedly they are “babysitting” it. Sorry the last time I checked I didn’t actually wear diapers anymore.
A little while ago we were asked to organise an event. Asked for ideas and then the reins were past over to us to get on with the event.
New girl starts, a little over a week after we were told to get on with it.
Newbie sends some really patronizing email giving us an arbitrary deadline for the next working day to ‘submit’ our presentations to her to ‘review’ them.
Firstly we were never given a deadline in the first place, secondly dont ask for something the next working day when its already the afternoon and I am rammed up to my eyeballs in work; and thirdly, the event was still a WHOLE month away. Your not in the private sector now love. Welcome to the public sector!
I responded with a polite email back suggesting that the deadline be pushed forward because the event was a long way away and that the deadline was a little close.
This earnt the newbie the nick name “Demon Emailer”
The ridiculous email continues
“I am sure that you all have been formulating your ideas for what you are going to talk about since the time you volunteered to do these sessions. ”
The response I SHOULD have sent:
No you patronizing bitch, I have not been formulating ideas, I offered to do this a week ago. I have been up to my eyeballs in real work besides I am conducting a 15 minute ice breaker I do not need to spend hours doing it, now fuck off and chill out.
I didn’t. I was polite.
Demon Emailer continues:
If your workload is such that you don’t think those timelines are workable, we have another couple of graduates who are interested in helping out
At this point I genuinely turned purple in the face at the audacity of the demon emailer. How dare you suggest that I am incapable of delivering a 15 minute session in a months time. No I do not need help, its FIFTEEN MINUTES of material. I could piss longer than that, this is not hard.
Anyway, after my hulk climbed back inside, and my face returned to its olivey colour, I decided to march up to the demon emailers office and ‘ave a word’
Demon emailer can’t be thinking they can get away with this for the rest of their time here!
Polite conversation was had. Through gritted teeth I hasen to add.
Its at this point that I am convinced I am working with a full on robot. I have never seen anyone fidget less in my life. The wind could have picked up and their hair wouldn’t have even budged plus their posture was waaay too straight to be normal.
We move on a couple of weeks.
Demon emailer decided that they wanted a rehersal of the event.
Much to irritation. Again, this is 15 minutes. Not hard.
Reluctantly I drag myself to this meeting.
Demon Emailer then says:
“Now then Sacha, let’s role play your piece shall we, lets practice all together (insert painfully perky smile) and then we can all make sure we are perfect. I have trained people across the world and run events for small groups to huge conferences, and I know that to look natural and unpracticed you need to practice practice practice”
Firstly, no I will not role play my section, I am not four, and we are not in drama class now love.
Secondly, your telling me your life story like I give a fuck.
Thirdly, you sat perfectly still for so long theres a fly nesting in your perfect hair (ok not true, but I wish it had been)
Fourthly, wipe that perky smile off your face before I do
Evidently I didn’t actually say any of these things, but I really wanted to.
I did refuse to participate though. I mean really, role playing my 15minute section. Delusional.