Just a quick one… photo of the bump this week….
According to all the polite people out there, this bump makes me a whale and massive!!… I still think Im pretty averagely sized…
31 weeks and 4 days.
Today I nearly lost my rag. So this I fear, will be a Rant of epic proportions.
I like to think that I am a women of patience, a women who rarely explodes and maintains a calm aurar. But after 31 and a half weeks of pregnancy I about lost the plot today. Biting my tongue is an understatement.
In this society we have an obsession with weight and beauty – shop stands are littered with magazines of size zero women, women who are ‘too curvy’ ‘not curvy enough’ ‘hips too wide, not wide enough’ ‘boobs too small, too big’ blah blah and everything in between. This is the pressure society puts on women who aren’t pregnant… Comments like this push teenagers to fast, binge and become anorexic or bulimic. The marketing and imagery pushed into mainstream media causes teenagers and young adults to have seriously damaged mindsets and views of their self image and body.
But when it comes to pregnancy, there seems to be this whole other level of opinion and views that general ‘people’ in society want to give and have over you.
‘People’ seem to think that its ok to pass open judgement and comments on your figure and size whilst your pregnant.
‘Oh your massive’
‘what do you mean you STILL have 8 weeks to go? Oh my god your going to be huge’
‘oh your tiny’
‘what a neat little bump you have’
‘god your going to have an enormous baby aren’t you’
After 31 weeks of this bullshit, I am really genuinely sick and fucking tired of people making comments about my size. What the fuck makes people think they have the right to pass such openly RUDE judgement on my size and shape. Why is it ok for them to tell me I’m ‘huge’ or ‘tiny’ or anything in between JUST because I’m pregnant. You wouldn’t turn around to a young women and tell her she was massive or tiny, or anything – you don’t say it, so seriously now what is it about being pregnant that makes people think they have the right to say whatever the fuck comes into their head?
The detrimental effect it is having on my mindset is horrendous – I had a poor self image before I was pregnant and was most concerned about how I was going to look and the awful stretch marks that would appear and whether or not I would feel fat and could I get rid of the weight after and blah blah blah. But I get a daily onslaught of judgements and comments from the general public or people in lifts in corridors and it is exhausting. I am tired of having to listen to what other people think about my size and weight and shape. I am struggling to maintain my sanity and sane perspective on the fact that I AM pregnant, which means I will have a bump and a few stretch marks and it will take time to lose the weight but lots of other women do it, so I can too, but I cannot place ‘societies’ expectations on myself – I will lose the weight as and when I lose it, and its fine, its ok.
I know that every women who has ever been pregnant will have experienced this – so I am wondering what witty quips you all came up with to counter those rude and ignorant arseholes out there….??
I finished my dissertation this week, but also had our first anniversary, so been a tad busy… Off to pride today, but will update properly over the next couple of days… but basically…. I am back!! 🙂
So we painted the babies room a cafe latte type colour – pretty neutral – but you can’t really tell from the photos, ive tried to add a photo of the colour from a website….and we added the vinyl tree and a billion teal leaves this evening…. Just family photos to go! I think the words are just lovely 🙂
Guna be totally rubbish this week – next week and probably the week after. I currently have 10 days and 9000 words left to write of my dissertation. I can barely think straight let alone blog – so just a belly update this week folks…
These shots were taken first thing this morning so actually bang on date this time!!! haha.
The Photos are a few days late in fairness, 23 + 3… but at least I took them this week! The double photo, has a comparison – week 22 vs. today 23+3.
I have to say I am gobsmacked at the difference. A lot of people have been saying that the didn’t think I had grown, and I was pretty sure I wasn’t growing all that much either. BUT apparently that isn’t the case! I am STILL growing!! and fast too! when I look in the mirror though I don’t seem to be any bigger and no one else thinks I am either – in fact the wife thought I had lost weight over the last week!!
Might be because I have been eating and craving fruit like its going out of fashion – I am glad because I would rather crave fruit than chocolate – although that said I did eat a box of chocolates over the last couple of days – ooops!!
So – this week…. It’s official… theres a weird alien inside me…. and you can feel it from the outside!! The sensations changed again when he moves, and it always takes me a couple days to realise that it’s him kicking and thats what the sensation is! So anyways I decided to shove the wife’s hand on my belly, as she has been getting upset she couldn’t feel anything as I have been feeling him move for weeks, well anyways – these kicks were very different and it was bizarre to be able to feel it on the inside and outside simultaneously. It was like some kind of… well I don’t even know how to explain it – a bit like a heart beat, or something huge literally knee-ing our hands!! and to me now, it feels like someone is having a proper rummage around my insides!
The other update – ‘Nesting’ ohh boy – I seem to have these ridiculous urges to clear out X or Y, and sort out Z. So much so, I forced my wife to help me finish unpacking the ENTIRE house!! box after box after box!! Clean down the furniture in the babies room, and unfortunately help me vacate my studio. I had to take the decision to get rid of it, because my wages will be cut so significantly that I wont be able to afford to keep it whilst I am on Maternity Leave… but thats another story I will tell you about another day.